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  1. Today
  2. Unexpected POSITIVE consequences....

    Unexpected positive for me: I found my network was stronger than I realized. I haven't made it to transfer yet so things could continue in any direction. However, I've been talking with close friends for over year now about this journey and I have offers for babysitting and various support coming from all directions. As a single mom with no bio family, it feels pretty good to have chosen the right circle for me.
  3. Almost transfer time

  4. 2nd transfer

  5. When To Start The Process?

    That would be an excellent question for your agency. How much screening do they do prior to matching and how long does the process take after matching? Most clinics require a 6 month break between donations. So if your chosen donor has recently had an egg retrieval, there will be a short wait until she can begin medical stimulation. You might also want to ask how long the contract process with your agency generally takes.
  6. Almost transfer time

  7. Yesterday
  8. Almost transfer time

    I feel like I've been here so many times and this time took forever to get to. I don't really have any questions just updating my status. We transferred 2 times last year (yes, LAST year) with one chemical and one negative cycle. They had to wait for their donor to agree to donate again and then our clinic made us re-do EVERYTHING from updating and re-signing our contract to blood tests to consent forms and adding a MFM visit for me (which was a waste of time) and a nurse talk too. After all of this, our cycle got started -- there are several nice blasts frozen for us to use and I've been on meds for 14 days - tomorrow is my lining check and hopefully we will get the green light to do this transfer next week!!! Keep your fingers crossed for us.
  9. We have a forum where surrogates and IP's can share "what I wish I had known" about their journeys, and it ends up being more negative in general, so how about some positives? What are some unexpected....or hoped for and it worked out....things that have come out from your journey? Whether you have delivered for a family or are just starting your journey, share w/others the positive things you didn't think might be a part of it or just didn't even think of!
  10. 2nd transfer

    Hello to everyone, So excited to say that our beta levels today 21dpt was 9689!!! We are so happy at this time, our dr said they wanted to see it at least at 3000 or greater so they said it was very nice and strong implantation. We are now scheduling our first ultrasound for next 09/29 at 7 weeks to check for heartbeat and the second one at around 9 weeks So exciting weeks! That's our updates from now!!! d&j
  11. When To Start The Process?

    Thanks everyone for the advice and input, I went with everyone's advice and started the egg donation process. I choose my donor and now just have to wait for my agency to check their availability. My question now is how long does the process of an waiting for an egg donor to be available, approved and on board with the process take? I've been waiting for 5 days now and the anxiety is driving me crazy. I keep thinking of all the wrongs going in my favor. Does anyone have any insight on how long this process generally takes?
  12. Last week
  13. 26 Weeks!

    What a great update! Hopefully the PBO goes smoothly for everyone. I love the idea of recorded voices. I've encouraged my IPs to facetime with my belly when there's some visible kicking going on. We'll just see how they feel throughout pregnancy <3
  14. Assuming the right sexual position

    ********************** **Edited to remove entire content!! I am allowing this to remain up, long enough for you to potentially log back in to see this, before I remove it #1~ it should be pretty clear from the name of this site, as well as all of the forums, that this site is specifically for surrogacy. You didn't find this site by accident, one would have to search specifically for surrogacy websites to come across it. #2~ sex and sexual positions are not relevant to surrogacy as surrogacy DOES NOT INVOLVE sex. Period. Your line of questioning was totally out of line and inappropriate. #3~ the last time I checked, and I admit that I have not checked yet today, Kenya IS NOT IN THE USA!!! Please do not think that you can try to come onto a site and troll it, lie and think you'll get away w/it. That's not how it works. So, in summary, *IF* you are actually a woman, you are not involved in surrogacy, you do not need a surrogate, this is not a sex site or for sexual advice and Kenya is pretty damn far away from the US.
  15. 26 Weeks!

    Thanks everyone! beachalice, I have the same questions for her that you that baby is viable (sigh of relief) pre-term labor can happen and I just want to be sure we are all prepared. With my own children I had a fully stocked pantry and nursery ready to roll by this point, LOL. Just my overly prepared personality I guess haha. I know everyone is different. The agency has been great and they are moving ahead with IP, the attorney and the birth orders. They don't really need much from me based on my state of residency. I'm going to make some suggestions that Traci mentioned, recording her voice etc. I did pick up a doppler with her permission and have been sending her videos of the heartbeat and showing her the kicks. I think it's been hard since she planned to be at more appts but couldn't due to her work schedule and this crazy weather/airport issues. I'm sure everything will work out fine, my emotions are stable thankfully, even during this hormone crazed pregnancy, I feel very grounded and sure of my part. Just keep focusing on the positive!
  16. 4dp5dt Opinions on symptoms??

    If your IPs want you to test, then test If the home test is positive, you can be cautiously optimistic. You still have 36+ weeks to go! If the home test is negative, don't give up hope and definitely don't change your med protocol. Maybe try again in about 2 days. When is your beta scheduled?
  17. 4dp5dt Opinions on symptoms??

    Hello everyone! I am new here and jusy found this group. I am a first time surro and had our first transfer friday sept 15th (2017). I am currently 4dp5pt. We transferd 2 AA + grade embabies . 1 boy and 1 girl. One was already beginning to hatch the other was fully expanded and almost ready to hatch. I have posted in other groups and i get the same thing always " its your medication " . Sense friday ( day of transfer) a few hours after transfer i started to get very light cramps. Sense then they have gotten more intense daily, i habe began to sleep ALL the time ( i LITTERLY cant stay awake), i have began getting neausea on and off sense day 3pt , dizzy spells on and off , and a pulling sensation with the cramping. I have been on Injectable meds for over a month ( estrogen) and PIO for 6 days before transfer. My meds gave me no symptoms at all. Nothing, no sore boobs, neausea, dizziness, headachs nothing. Not even the Doxy they had me on affected me. So im pretty sure its not my meds. My IPs want me to test now but im still afraid its a little early... Have any of you had these symptoms with twins Or even a singleton this early ? Should i start testing yet ? .... TIA for the advice
  18. Single man looking for surrogacy?

    I don't think there's more to be said as far as trying to help advise you through this process at all. Good luck w/your endeavors.
  19. Single man looking for surrogacy?

    I met a couple a few weeks ago. It was a little get-together party at my friend's home. He introduced me to them, and we had a long conversation at that night. The lady advised me that if I'm looking for the most economical but best destination for surrogacy, I should definitely consider Ukraine. Next day, I talked about this with my doctor and some experts. The experts running some fertility clinics here, are not liking this idea. But my doctor liked it very much. He said there's no harm in going to Ukraine for surrogacy. Also, he advised me that the legal paperwork should be filed appropriately in order to avoid any chance of legal battles or complications.
  20. itsonlyk

    Thank you both! THank you thank you!
  21. The link seems to no longer go straight to the story, but tries to get you to subscribe to the site, so here is a c/p of the article.... Hundreds of Australian children born overseas through commercial surrogacy arrangements have been left without legal parents, following a decision of the full Family Court. The ruling has prompted calls for urgent legislative change so that children are not left in a legal limbo — and potentially stateless. The case in question involved an Australian couple, known as “Mr and Mrs Bernieres” who travelled to “Country T” and entered a commercial arrangement with a surrogate mother. In 2014, a girl was born — the product of Mr Bernieres’ sperm and an egg from an anonymous donor. The fetus had been carried by the surrogate mother. The couple had been unable to conceive naturally because Mrs Bernieres suffered from poor egg quality and low egg reserve. The couple, who have been raising the girl, now 3, in Melbourne, applied to the Family Court for a declaration that they were her legal parents. In a decision published last week, three judges of the court ruled the couple were not her legal parents, despite Mr Bernieres being her biological father. This is because the commonwealth Family Law Act leaves it to state and territory legislation to determine the status of children born under surrogacy arrangements. Mr and Mrs Bernieres were not recognised as parents under the Victorian legislation because, like all states, it does not recognise children born via commercial surrogacy arrangements. “The unfortunate result of that conclusion is that the parentage of the child here is in doubt ...” the judgment says. “There is no question that the father is the child’s biological father, but that does not translate into him being a parent for the purposes of the Act. Further, the mother is not even the biological mother, and thus is even less likely to be the ‘legal parent’.” Previously, there was inconsistency as to whether individual judges would recognise the parentage of children born via commercial surrogacy arrangements. This was the first time the full Family Court had ruled on the issue. The three judges, Chief Justice Diana Bryant, Steven Strickland and Judith Ryan, said it was not open to the court to fill the “legislative vacuum” that existed for children born via overseas commercial surrogacy arrangements; this needed to be fixed by legislation. In doing so, the judges upheld an earlier decision of judge David Berman, who gave Mr and Mrs Bernieres responsibility for caring for the child but not a declaration of parentage. Justice Berman said he could well understand the couple’s dismay because they were “not able to secure for all purposes that which they fervently seek, namely, recognition and a declaration of parentage”. “There is a clear need for urgent legislative change,” he said in the 2015 judgment. He had no doubt about the couple’s “overarching love” for the girl, and their “ability, capacity and intention” to fulfil her needs — but he had “significant misgivings” about the surrogacy process and the “disturbing” terms of the couple’s contractual arrangement with the surrogate mother. Surrogacy Australia president Robert Reith said urgent change was needed to provide certainty to children and parents. “The law absolutely needs a review and to be brought up to date with modern standards,” Mr Reith said. “It’s outrageous.” Barrister Robin Smith, who acted for Mr and Mrs Bernieres, said the only option for them was to apply to adopt the child but this would be a very difficult process. “Unfortunately they have now fallen through the cracks of the state and commonwealth legislation, which means they really don’t have any remedy,” he said. Dr Smith said that while they could make key decisions for the girl, including those relating to her medical care and schooling, because they had been given responsibility for her care, she would not necessarily be recognised as their child when it came to inheritance, and if they separated or divorced, they might not be able to be forced to provide child support. Family lawyer Stephen Page has also said the full Family Court decision could impact on whether the Department of Immigration will recognise children born via overseas surrogacy arrangements as Australian citizens. In NSW, Queensland and the ACT, it is illegal for individuals to enter into overseas commercial surrogacy arrangements. It is estimated that about 250 babies a year are born overseas via surrogacy arrangements to Australian couples.
  22. 26 Weeks!

    I'm glad things are going physically well for you! That's so hard about your IM. She can be as prepared or not prepared for bringing home a baby as she feels the need to be. But the legal process really can't be delayed much longer. I wonder if your agency can appeal to her from a different viewpoint. Not to be morbid, but if anything were to happen now to the baby, whose name would go on the death certificate? Baby is viable now! If you were to go into preterm labor, would she rather be in NICU helping to care for her baby or would she rather be in court trying to adopt her baby? Hopefully you can get a positive gender scan so she can begin visualizing her SON or DAUGHTER. Having a gender might help her connect more. Very best wishes for a smooth third trimester for you!!
  23. 26 Weeks!

    I'm glad you popped back in for an update!! It sure is going by quickly! I have seen varying degrees of this behavior, depending on nationality, religion, or just plain fear. I've known a couple of surrogates who's IP's wouldn't even buy car seats, diapers, NOTHING, until AFTER the babies were born. I think the 2 most common situations I've seen, are in the case of religious customs and fear. I know it can be hard to open up and let your guard down, when you've been through multiple losses, years of trying and no success (either themselves or w/other surrogates). It's hard for us as surrogates, because we want to share in the joy and excitement w/our IP's, but when they don't allow themselves to experience it, it feels like we can't either. The best you can do is just follow their lead. As far as the PBO, that's not something that they really can put off w/out potentially risking additional legal expenses. Has she thought of recording her voice, maybe reading stories or sharing stories about themselves and having you play them to your belly? That might help her feel a bit of a connection before the birth.
  24. 26 Weeks!

    HI ladies, I've been mia for a while, almost 26 weeks now. Pregnancy is going so smooth, I just can't belive it. Very thankful for that! Gender reveal was not 100%, leaning toward girl, may know for sure at the last US. I'm in awe and so happy to be pregnant lol..for the final time. I'd love to help one more family, but with my change in career, I can't I'm thankful to be apart of at least one journey. I have a question I hope some of you might have experience with. Have any of your IP's been so superstitious during the pregnancy? Mine is worried to the point my IM won't buy anything for baby and doesn't want to speak about the birth yet. I know it's somewhat soon, but I have started to worry a bit. The agency wants to start the birth order process. I'm sure after all the failed IVF she's been through and using surrogates before me, she is very emotional. I can only imagine..she's voiced worry over bonding with baby despite not carrying the pregnancy herself. I'm trying to offer as much reassurance as I can. We've been a good team and hope the next several weeks are good, and baby continues to thrive and grow without issue.
  25. finally my turn!

    Thank you! I totally expected contracts to take about a month. I would have never guessed we could get through in less than a week. But our agency really held our hand and we went over so many topics at our joint psych session. We had covered just about everything before anything was sent to the attorneys, so it was simply a matter of adding legalese. I don't know how my IPs managed to get me in Friday for monitoring, but when they said it was possible if the attorneys approved our contract it was a no brainer to hand deliver the paperwork rather than FedEx the contract back and forth across the state. We've had a few lucky flukes along the way
  26. itsonlyk

    That's AWESOME news! Congrats!!
  27. itsonlyk

    That is AWESOME to hear!!! What a relief and load off of your shoulders. One less thing for you to have to stress about now. I'm so, so happy you passed!!
  28. itsonlyk

    PASSED THE THREE HOUR! What a friggin' relief lol I'm so happy.
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