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  1. Yesterday
  2. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Thanks a lot, beachalice!
  3. How to get started?

    I only wanted to add: don't be afraid to look far and wide. The laws of surrogacy are relevant only where your baby is born, not where you live or which clinic you use. I think NY is working on getting their laws changed, but at the moment compensated surrogacy contracts are illegal for surrogates who reside in NY. If you choose to match independently, definitely don't skip your research into the local surrogacy laws. Best wishes!
  4. Single Mom's!

    Welcome! I'm a single mama, and almost 10 weeks pregnant on my first journey. There are a TON of appointments needed early in the process (2-3 monitoring checks before transfer; more if you need additional time for your body to respond to meds plus transfer plus 2-3 beta blood draws plus 2-3 ultrasounds all within the first 8 weeks of getting your med schedule), so make sure you have a lot of support for childcare and flexibility at work. Also be aware of the fact that bleeding is very common in IVF pregnancies so you might be on bed rest as early as 5 weeks pregnant. Again that support network is invaluable. Make sure you ask lots of questions about your meds. Most protocols include 10-15 weeks of injectable meds, so you might need to do those by yourself. I've been fortunate to not have any morning sickness, but the artificial hormones are no joke. Your support people may be needed if you can't handle the smells of cooking or grocery shopping. It's all so rewarding to know you're changing a family's life (lives?). Every step has been worth it for me. I've handled it all on my own, and I chuckle to myself a bit when the girls from my agency complain that their husband is running late at work. I think when you're used to doing it all by yourself, you get better at finding resources or finding the motivation to get it done. My main babysitter will be moving in with us when I get to about 20 weeks just to make sure I have nearby when it's needed. You find ways to make it work. Be sure to ask lots of questions
  5. Last week
  6. All that SHOULD have been done when preparing for the ER and creating the embryos. When doing surrogacy, all parties should have had med screening which may be a physical, pap, SA for your DH and FDA labs. If all this was done at the creation of the embryos and they have been frozen all this time, there shouldn't be any reason to redo them, unless you need to create new embryos. I would ask for clarification on this and ask why it wasn't brought up before.
  7. We did IVF in February of this year. My husband and I completed all the FDA blood testing that my clinic required. We have 3 frozen pgs tested embryos now and are looking to transfer in January. Yesterday, I get a call from my RE's new nurse saying that my husband needs to be seen by a urologist and that my RE needs to give me a physical. What the what? It is like why am I just now hearing about this months and months later. We were working with the old nurse until October and she never mentioned ANYTHING about physicals. I am completely upset and wondering if we will even have the correct embryos transferred to our GC. Advice?
  8. How to get started?

    Welcome!! How exciting to be looking at adding another precious baby to the family! #1) You'll find that we have a Classified's section here on AAS where you can either place your own ad, or respond to one that resonates w/you...or both! There are also several matching groups on FB that you can join to try and find the right match. You're just doing all of the legwork yourself as far as background checks, psych evals, attorneys for all parties, medical screening, etc. #2) If the surrogate you match w/does not have a surro-friendly policy, then you will either have to purchase a new policy for her that would cover it, or negotiate a cash-pay option. Often times negotiating the cash pay can get you pretty big discounts. (I've seen up to 60% or even a bit more, depending on provider) Plan policies are going to vary depending on where the surrogate lives. There are a TON of new changes that are taking effect Jan.1, and it's not in our favor. There have been quite a few carriers that have dropped completely from covering surrogate pg's, a number that have added liens against the surrogates compensation (meaning that you would be responsible for any amt "up to" the amt of compensation and only then would that policy cover....potentially) and a number that have literally dropped out completely. Unfortunately open enrollment only goes to Dec.15, depending on what state the surrogate resides in. Some, like MN, are allowing it up until almost the end of Jan. in the Marketplace. #3) There are a number of good agencies and they don't have to be near you. There is a FB group for Surrogate Agency Reviews that is a great resource, as well as using our Search feature here on AAS, and a simple Google search. If you have questions and the other suggestions weren't helpful, then just ask away.
  9. Single Mom's!

    Hi everyone, I'm a first time GS and I'm also a single mom. I'm in the early stages of my surrogacy process (awaiting my psychological exam to be exact) and I want to hear from other single moms that may have done this in the past, just your experience and possible struggles and some advice! I'm working with an agency that is located in San Diego, CA and i'm located in Northern California. They have been nothing short of amazing and so helpful, and extremely easy to work with. I am SO excited for whats to come! Thanks
  10. How to get started?

    Hi all, My husband and I are the parents of twins who were carried by a gestational surrogate. That GS was actually a friend (and an angel on earth), so I didn't work with any agency, etc. when we found her. Now we are hoping for a 3rd kid, and have multiple blastocysts frozen and ready to transfer. But we need to find a surrogate. My questions are: 1. Is there any way to find surrogates outside of an agency, or is this frowned upon? Our last surrogacy journey was 10 years ago, and I know a lot has changed since then. 2. What if your surrogate doesn't have the proper health insurance coverage? What are some plans we can sign up for to supplement? 3. Can anyone recommend specific agencies, if that is indeed the best route? We live outside of NYC. Thanks so much!
  11. 14th weeks update

    Congrats! Sounds like everything is healthy and going well. Many OB offices only do one ultrasound the entire pregnancy. I had one ultrasound with my daughter and none with my son. Unless she had a hemorrhage or something specific to check on, it is completely normal and healthy to only hear the heartbeat every 4 weeks. You're 1/3 of the way done!
  12. 14th weeks update

    Hi to everyone! How is everybody doing? Hope all your process will be good and going ahead. We wanted to update how our process is going. This week we reached 14th week and our GC is feeling still a little bit sick and she is having some cravings ahaha, and she also started feeling our little baby inside, so exciting. She told us her belly is sometimes there but sometimes she doesn’t see it so maybe this will appear firmly soon. She is definitely so loving. Her first OB appt was 2 weeks ago, when she was 12w+5d and went great, they didn’t do her any US nor blood test but she heard the heartbeat of the little girl and sent it to us, simply amazing ahahaha Everything went simply fine and she has her next appt on December 7th, so we are looking forward to her next appt. She will be then 16w+5d. Even lots of people has told us everything looks normal, we are a little bit worried because we expected to have had an US in her first visit, our GC of course told that looks normal as she has been under lot of controls during the fertility clinic time. We did PGS to all embryos and are so happy because we see our GC is feeling quite good but, as we have not idea of that, due this is our first process. We just wanted to hear about some other people who could explain if that’s is normal or how their experience is going. Sorry for the extension of the text. hugs d&j
  13. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    There’s one random sentence in the middle there that is a different size. I don’t know how it happened. I can’t figure out how to correct it. This happened last time I responded to someone on my phone too. Sorry! I don’t know how or why the font is two different sizes.
  14. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Regarding psychologist, I think it is most important that you have a screening to be able to demonstrate that your surrogate is of sound mind and capable of understanding legal contracts. It’s helpful if the psychologist is familiar with reproductive issues and can discuss some of the challenges of taking months of medications for someone else’s baby. The attorneys absolutely need to be well versed in reproductive law, but to my knowledge it is not a requirement that the psychologist specialize in reproductive issues. Regarding clinic location, you can choose any clinic you like. Travel expenses for screening, creating embryos, and transfer of embryo might add up to the point that a local clinic makes more sense. But there is no legal reason to choose one clinic over another. The local state laws where a clinic is located would only be relevant if your baby was born in that state. Regarding donor share programs, just make sure you understand the costs and the risks. Are you guaranteed a certain number of eggs? Are you guaranteed that any of the eggs are able to be fertilized? It may take a little bit longer to get started if you need to wait for a second couple to choose your egg donor. You may not end up with additional embryos to be able to freeze for the opportunity to try again in the future (for a sibling or if the first transfer doesn’t take). Each clinic will have different policies so be sure to advocate for yourself and ask lots of questions. You can do this!
  15. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Hi again! Thank you for your advice! We are making some progress! We've been doing more research and we would have some more questions. 1. Regarding the psychological evaluation, we don't manage to find a 'reproductive' psychologist. Would the psychologist need to have any specific qualification or can be done by any psychologist that says "yes, I can do that"? 2. California, and North California in particular, is really REALLY expensive. We knew that but we didn't know it was THAT expensive. For this reason, we are comsidering doing the whole process in another state. We talked to other IPs that did the paperwork in NV and the fertility treatment in Texas. We've been reading that Texas recently made progress on surrogacy law but we are not sure if we are missing something. Would you have any advice here? 3. We are on a tight budget. Other IPs recommended that we should share an egg donor with other IPs. We've also heard good experiences about this. Any warnings in this regard? Any other considerations that we could help us keep the budge under control? Thank you in advance!
  16. Earlier
  17. beachalice update

    We had an interview today with a new OB group in Atlanta. I wasn't examined at all - just a chat session to see if they'd be a good fit. D it!!!! This practice is experienced with surrogacy so it will be no problem to handle records and parent access, etc. The IPs are welcome at all appointments, or I may video/ record the appointment for them if they have to miss it. The practice has 6 midwives and 4 OB. I'll see all the midwives in rotation, and one will be present at birth; they don't share with any other practices. I'll see the OBs or be referred for NST or BPP only if baby needs a little extra support. Total midwifery model of care all the way. No need for induction unless I'm past 42 weeks or if a BPP indicates a change in health. No elective induction even if the IPs beg for one. Unmedicated delivery is supported in a number of ways. The practice was just so warm and positive and friendly. We spoke with 5 staff members from check in to check out, and they were all so excited for my IM. No gushing over me at all, which I appreciate. They did refer me to a MFM so we can follow up on the SCH. They only do the 20-week anatomy scan in office, and sometimes a confirmation scan if women are unsure of dates. Their machine isn't strong enough to properly monitor the SCH. So I'll receive parallel care (usually same day appointments) between the MFM and the midwives until the SCH is cleared.
  18. Good for you. Whatever works for you is all that matters. I can relate a tiny bit in a small way. I'm a divorced mama in a small rural town in the bible belt. It's quite scandalous. But I don't care about anyone's judgement. Their opinions don't change who I am. When people ask about my non-existent husband, I say I'm single by choice. I don't need to be pitied nor have I earned a scarlet letter. It's my choice to raise my children alone. However, I don't have to deal with ignorance in the workplace on a daily basis so only you know how best to handle that environment. I will be announcing my surrogacy pregnancy in a positive way that lets others know I am excited for my IPs (while minimizing the rumors down about me because I need to maintain my job).
  19. Help Insurance and NewBorn

    Okay. Here's what I see: $526 premium every month $0 for office visits 20% of the hospital bill up to a max of $6000 if the hospital participates in this plan What I don't see listed is the coverage for c-section. It might cost $0 as a part of prenatal care coverage, or it might cost 20% of the surgery bill as a part of hospital services. Regardless of the surgery c-section coverage, the most you'll have to pay is $6000 total for delivery (in addition to the monthly premium). Check your contract to see how long you need to maintain insurance after the pregnancy. Usually IPs are responsible for medical care after the baby is born for several months. When your contract is complete, you can stop paying the $526 monthly premium.
  20. what are big no for GC?

    That's a hard NO! I'm so glad you can give her some pointers of how it can be with the right agency/ match.
  21. what are big no for GC?

    That’s exactly what I thought, on top of that they told her that she had to pay the whole $100,000 upfront!!! I couldn’t believe it! I told her to run!
  22. Hy, if most American don't understand insurance, imagine not american... :-) Thanks a lot for useful information, I want to realize just a idea of fees. The insurance plan is the follow: http://tinyurl.com/yd9rwu6z Sems that change something, also is allowed to use a non partecipant provider/medic. For example for hospital we will pay 20% of fee. Maybe is better. But is better to use a partecipant network provider. And for this our GC is very collaborative because will search a OB and hospital on the network before. The agency tell to us that the premium is due for all pregnancy and not for all year. I asked for confirmation, but it's true or false? It's very a nightmare sometime :-) Jul
  23. Thanks. It took a while for me , but just started the initial process, surrogate not pregnant yet, planning second transfer. But then the whole office thing stuck me, it is a very family oriented place and formal. Me being single seems to invite a lot of questions and now me having a baby through non conventional means I am sure will bring in all the folks. I will be quite, but then suddenly vacation, kid is sick will have to explain-though that is about a year away. Convincing my family was a gargantuan task in itself!
  24. what are big no for GC?

    Not sure what that agency's issue is w/someone that already has children, but they are off base. I've known quite a few surrogates that have carried for IP's that have had several children. Just because one has a child...or several...does not mean that they are any less deserving of having another one. (or 2 or 3...!!) There are some surrogates that prefer to work w/couples that have already had children as they feel they understand more about the pg, etc. I agree w/Beachalice and they should talk to another agency.
  25. Aaaawwww....THANK YOU for coming back to update us all. What a cutie he is! You and your surrogate a both special people, and I'm glad I was able to get to follow along a bit!
  26. what are big no for GC?

    Nope. Def not true. She needs a new agency. It might take a little while to find the perfect match. But there's someone for everyone. Some surrogates are particular to married couples or singles or religious or non-political or traditional or first timers or international or ..... And that includes some surrogates who prefer to carry for families who already have children. Some surrogates really don't have a preference of ideal family at all. There's someone for everyone. Just a matter of finding them.
  27. Gorgeous child! Congrats, momma! What a warm fuzzy update
  28. what are big no for GC?

    I’m friends with this couple who have 3 incredible kids, and they desperately want to have a 4th. However, my friend can no longer have kids due to her health risks. She went to a surrogate agency that told her that she won’t be able to find a surrogate who would want to have a child for her because my friend already has 3 kids.. is this true? I was flabbergasted to hear this. Is this true?
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