NJLyn

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NJLyn last won the day on November 10 2017

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About NJLyn

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  • Surrogacy Status
    GSx1

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  • Location
    Midwest

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  1. Birth Plan - Delivery

    Delivery was very easy, no complications! Strange being in the hospital room alone after though. I didn't ask my family to come out of privacy for my IP. I'd recommend future surrogates have someone come to the hospital as "your" support. Help get you snacks or food, talk to you, just guide you through especially if you have much pain. My mom instincts kicked in and I felt restless lol..no baby to tend to, but I did get to sleep. Just stayed overnight. I would definitely suggest to any surrogates in the contract phase out there, to ensure a birth plan is in writing. Insist on it. I didn't get to hold the baby as I hoped I would. Or even see her for that matter. IM didn't want me near her, which was a sudden change of events. I respect her choice, and thankful to be part of bringing this little girl into the world! I think being able to see or hold the little one helps with closure. Because surrogacy is so rare in my area, the medical staff, OB, hospital social worker, etc, were all worried about my emotions and kept asking me questions about my mental health over and over...somewhat awkward, but I knew from day one, I was choosing to be a gest. surrogate for the right reasons. I guess I was just surprised how distant and cold my IM become after delivery, but everyone handles their emotions different. Definitely emotional to see the journey come to a close. I am so thankful everything went so well, many months preparing and double checking, wondering..All of the nurses were so awesome. Although my journey is over, my heart aches for all the families out there struggling with infertility, I hope more women are encouraged to become surrogates. What a life changing experience! **Just choose your agency and IP(s) wisely and trust your instincts. Do A LOT of research. Plan everything that you possibly can but be flexible. Communicate. Express your goals too, as the surrogate. Be actively engaged.
  2. Birth Plan - Delivery

    OB scheduled my induction for December 20th. If I don't go into labor before then. Hard to believe this journey is almost over, I'm excited and so very nervous!! It seems like YEARS ago since I was stalking these forums for medication advice, transfer, 2ww, HCG, etc. Come a long way! Wish I could do one more journey but life is taking me in a different direction. Good luck to everyone else moving right along in their pregnancies
  3. Anyone have problems at work?

    I would go with your gut instinct on this one. As long as you are positive that surrogacy is right for you, you have a good family support system, I would say go for it. Of course, I understand you don't want to jeopardize your future career options. Especially if you just started a new job, that could be tricky. I know we like to think our superiors cannot use our personal beliefs/choices against us in the workplace, but they do. A lot of it depends on your work ethic and attitude during the surrogacy, I think. At least for me. I was worried how my coworkers and manager would take it. I have remained reliable, hard working and tried to reassure them I am still dedicated to my job. I'm sure there are married women, pregnant with their own child naturally, who face some kind of discrimination in the workplace too. Even if it's unspoken. Just being kind, honest and a good employee speaks volumes for your character. We transferred in April and I didn't tell my manager/coworkers until August when I was showing. Surrogacy isn't right for everyone, but it's your choice to make. I am so glad I did! I have not forced my opinions about surrogacy on anyone who has made negative remarks (there have been quite a few) instead, I hope it helps open their eyes to how painful infertility can be for some families and how wonderful being a surrogate is. Maybe they can appreciate how awesome it is to be so selfless and giving to help one another. I've had people hug me and tear up when they learn I'm a surrogate. And I've had others that had no idea surrogacy was even possible, they are just amazed. You never know what reaction you will get when people find out. My immediate manager speaks of it like a business transaction, I don't have good feedback from him. He is just worried about my completed work. If you truly want to be a surrogate again, and it affects your current position/advancement, there are always more jobs out there that would love to have you, I'm sure. I wish I could do a second journey but I am switching my career & the new position will have a mandatory probation period where I can't miss any work, and will be more physical than my current job, so sadly one journey is all I can commit to.
  4. Birth Plan - Delivery

    Thank you all so much, so many good ideas. I compiled a list and sent to my IM at week 30. Hopefully we can decide on an "estimated plan" so I know what her wishes are for her baby. Neither she nor I have any strong objections or religious beliefs that would pose a problem, but birth is such a sacred, special event and end to this journey, I want it to be special for her and baby and meaningful. There is a lot to consider!
  5. Same issue here. My due date is 12/27 and my carrier is canceling all policies in my state as of Dec 31st. IP has to carry my insurance 6 weeks postpartum though. I am waiting to hear what options we have.
  6. Hi everyone Hope you are all doing good! I wanted to ask what everyone's "plans" were in the third trimester to prep for delivery? Did you have a birth plan in writing? Did your agency help? I know everyone's situation is wildly different. I reached out to my agency, but no reply yet. My IP has been so meticulous, I figured this part would be stress free & we would both know expectations and be on the same page, but nope I am almost 34 weeks and a tad worried since we don't have any logistics or a plan in place yet. Baby is measuring very big and so am I! LOL
  7. 26 Weeks!

    Thanks everyone! beachalice, I have the same questions for her that you mentioned..now that baby is viable (sigh of relief) pre-term labor can happen and I just want to be sure we are all prepared. With my own children I had a fully stocked pantry and nursery ready to roll by this point, LOL. Just my overly prepared personality I guess haha. I know everyone is different. The agency has been great and they are moving ahead with IP, the attorney and the birth orders. They don't really need much from me based on my state of residency. I'm going to make some suggestions that Traci mentioned, recording her voice etc. I did pick up a doppler with her permission and have been sending her videos of the heartbeat and showing her the kicks. I think it's been hard since she planned to be at more appts but couldn't due to her work schedule and this crazy weather/airport issues. I'm sure everything will work out fine, my emotions are stable thankfully, even during this hormone crazed pregnancy, I feel very grounded and sure of my part. Just keep focusing on the positive!
  8. 26 Weeks!

    HI ladies, I've been mia for a while, almost 26 weeks now. Pregnancy is going so smooth, I just can't belive it. Very thankful for that! Gender reveal was not 100%, leaning toward girl, may know for sure at the last US. I'm in awe and so happy to be pregnant lol..for the final time. I'd love to help one more family, but with my change in career, I can't I'm thankful to be apart of at least one journey. I have a question I hope some of you might have experience with. Have any of your IP's been so superstitious during the pregnancy? Mine is worried to the point my IM won't buy anything for baby and doesn't want to speak about the birth yet. I know it's somewhat soon, but I have started to worry a bit. The agency wants to start the birth order process. I'm sure after all the failed IVF she's been through and using surrogates before me, she is very emotional. I can only imagine..she's voiced worry over bonding with baby despite not carrying the pregnancy herself. I'm trying to offer as much reassurance as I can. We've been a good team and hope the next several weeks are good, and baby continues to thrive and grow without issue.
  9. Thanks beachalice and traci72...when I go next week, I will mention "checking the ED box" just to be sure.
  10. Hello just wanted to circle back and give an update. Maybe this will help another IM or surrogate. Our results from the Panorama test were completely inconclusive with a disclaimer stating their test and lab does not offer testing for Gestational Surrogates or donor eggs. They said it detected a DNA mismatch. I wish our high risk OB would've known this, it would have saved my IM hundreds of dollars. The OB now recommends the "Harmony" test, which I've read online is also not applicable to a GS or Donor Eggs. The office did not do the first trimester blood work either, HCG and PAPP-A, which I thought was part of the blood work the day of the Nuchal Scan, but evidently not. I am scheduled for the Harmony test next week when I'll be 14 weeks. This part is tough. IM and I both fear amnio, so hopefully we won't have to consider that route. I guess we'll see what happens. I understand these are just screening tests, but I don't want to undergo more unnecessary blood work or have my IM have to pay for these if they aren't giving us any data to go on. I am confident that everything is ok, but I know my IM is very scared. Did I mention how awesome it is to be pregnant again! LOL. I'm loving it, so happy I can help someone like this, I get so emotional every time I think of what I'm doing for her...it's just awesome :D
  11. Everything went fine. It was a bit nerve wracking since the hospital is under construction so my test was right in the Labor and Delivery unit, a bit of commotion and a lot of families. The NT measured 1.3 which is good. FHR was 165. They call it the "Ultrascreen" because they also drew blood for the cell free fetal DNA test and the high risk OB/geneticist will write up a report and give us an "estimate" they also look at the nasal bones, anatomy as best they can, arms, legs, etc. And they did a 3D at the end. Should have those results in 10 days. It was so cute to see the little peanut jumping all around..I've never had a US at 12 weeks with my own pregnancies before, so that was special. The neat thing about the cell free DNA test is we will know the gender. The hospital here is not used to surrogates, every one was amazed and had tons of questions.
  12. Hey guys, haven't posted in a while. I am scheduled for an "Ultrascreen" this Wednesday at the high risk OB due to my AMA (age 36), I will be exactly 12 weeks. IM was 37 when eggs were frozen, so doc wants to be sure if any genetic anomalies. Between the RE and OB, I've had 4 ultrasounds so far, nice strong heartbeat each time. Now this screening is looming and IP's and I are nervous! Anyone else have this screening? I am still in shock we made it this far, thankful for each day and looking forward to eating a full meal again and not having morning sickness!
  13. @GC3, I am wondering the same! Do you have any updates? I apologize if you posted, I didn’t see anything. I go for second US tomorrow to confirm heartbeat & will be considered 6w2d pregnant. If Heartbeat is detected and all looks good tomorrow, the RE clinic will release me tomorrow and stop my meds at 8 weeks gestation which is May 20th. Eeeeeek! A little nervous I was expecting it to be 10 weeks as we discussed and I've heard others talk about.
  14. Second FET

    Our second Beta from Friday was 460, 11DP5DT, ultrasound scheduled for this Friday to see if there is a sac and to confirm pregnancy! Woohoo, I'm thankful we got this far but still analyzing everything :D I was worried about my Progesterone level being only 8.9, but I'm using Crinone and it doesn't give accurate blook levels. Our last failed transfer it was initially 12 then rose to 15. If all goes well, I have to go back one week later to check for heartbeat
  15. itsonlyk

    That is so exciting!!