I've been reading on here for the last two days, and I've already learned a lot. However, I don't see a lot of (or I haven't found yet) information in regards to a GS for a family member. I'd love to hear from anyone that has done that.
A little about me. I am 40 years old, and a mother to 5 children, my youngest being 13 months old. I have had 6 pregnancies, one being a chemical loss at 6 weeks. I seem to be in the beginning stages of perimenopause. I had considered being a surrogate for a friend 6 years ago, but they decided to stick to their one surro-baby. I have not agreed to carry for my cousin yet. I'm doing a lot of thought and research to decide what I want to do. Before she wrote to me, I wanted to get pregnant again, but I didn't want another baby. So hubby and I have been struggling with the decision to TTC again or not. This seems like what my feeling are guiding me towards. Not really sure, though.
My cousin and I were very close growing up. She is about 3 years younger than me. We were even roommates for about a year. I moved away to get married 17 years ago, living the military life, so I don't see her often, as we haven't been in the same state since. We do keep in touch through Facebook or text, but not super regularly. She has three bio children with her husband already, but her body doesn't handle pregnancy well. Her life is at risk if they get pregnant again, but she desperately wants another baby. When they discussed it, I am the one they both keep coming to, so she got up the nerve to ask. She has a doctors appointment at the end of the month to get more questions answered, and see where they're going to go from there.
I haven't told her yes or no yet. I have discussed it with my husband, we are still discussing all the pros and cons. He is being surprisingly supportive. I almost expected an immediate no. His biggest concern is postpartum depression, as I had it for 2 of 5 babies. At this point, I am leaning towards yes, but I'm not ready to commit.
One of my questions is, how far can I go with asking questions and getting details, discussing things like selective reductions, amount of transfers, etc, etc, without getting her hopes up too much? I know I need to know all these things before I can make a decision, but I don't want to lead her on. You know?