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beachalice last won the day on June 10

beachalice had the most liked content!

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About beachalice

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    waiting for a new match

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  1. I think it's wise to slow down and wait until you have more information. The original plan wasn't this soon anyway. It may help to keep a written list of your thoughts. I'm sure it's very overwhelming to carry all your emotions and various reasons in your mind. Maybe writing some thoughts down can help clear your mind's space so you can focus on your daily tasks until you have more information and can talk about the finer details of the situation.
  2. Pinkchick - it sounds like your mind is set but you don't want to be the one to say it out loud. Are you close enough with your friend and her husband to have a heart to heart talk among all four of you?
  3. I had a phone chat with my potential IPs this morning. They seem fine. We agree on the big stuff, which is most important. There are a few ~ideals~ of mine that will not be met with this match, but certainly no red flags. I feel confident saying we won't be besties or anything after our journey, but I think we closely match on the important topics and will be able to have a smooth journey. They are leaving tomorrow for a 3-week vacation in Europe. Their clinic does not have a surrogate coordinator, and the nurse who typically processes intake forms is out on maternity leave. So... more hurry up and wait. I may be able to get in for med screening in late July. The IPs are in a super duper big hurry to have children, so I'm hoping for all our sakes that this process goes smoothly. Our agency seems to think if I get cleared medically in July that we can get through contracts in time for an August med start and hopefully transfer in September. A brief google search tells me their clinic likes to do a mock cycle so I'm mentally prepared for an October transfer if every step goes through "on time".
  4. I'm glad you're feeling more positive. Definitely take your time and make sure the decision is right for you. Are you in Scotland? I'm only familiar with surrogacy in United States.
  5. That's great!! Keep us updated
  6. That's a bummer!! I have seen on various boards that Harmony is better for surrogates. Were the embryos PGS? I think the Harmony is the same trisomy screening as preimplantation genetic screening. Regardless of the testing, I am so glad to hear you're enjoying the experience. With a great NT scan, it sounds like baby is low risk
  7. How very scary for you and your friend. You are not the first potential surrogate to wonder whether her IPs were making the right decision. I can only say that any of us can die in a freak accident any day. We have no idea when our children may need to be raised by a single parent for any number of reasons. I think, personally, it is not up to me to decide whether my IPs will be worthy parents (unless it was obvious they were having children only for the purpose of selling them to the circus or something). Not everyone feels this way, and obviously you need to feel comfortable with your own decision. Some points that stick out to me -in no particular order: you don't YET know how long she has; she may have decades you don't know YET how much treatment may be required what if your friend could live comfortably long enough to see her child be brought into the world? what if your friend's husband only want a piece of his wife to cherish after she's gone and their baby is the only key to his peace? is their family supportive of them using a surrogate? what would you and your husband say if the husband was trying to adopt a baby as a single dad and asked if you'd serve as a character reference? have you done any of the medical or psychological testing required to be a surrogate? do you meet all the legal requirements in your country to be a surrogate? In the end, no one can make this decision for you. You're the one (and your family) who has to live with the outcome of your choice. Best wishes
  8. How did it go??
  9. Whether you use an agency or go through this journey independent is up to how strong you are feeling about tracking down the legal requirements in your state and working with lawyers and escrow companies and your medical team to jump through all the legal hoops to ensure you are named on your child's birth certificate rather than needing to adopt your own child. There's no wrong answer. Many parents enjoy the DIY route and the closeness it brings with their surrogate in that they negotiate the whole way together with their surrogate. Many parents enjoy leaving the legwork to a professional team and the closeness it brings with their surrogate in that they talk only about positive milestones and don't have to talk business directly. Best wishes!
  10. I love that you want to help other families. Like Traci said though, IPs spend near $100,000 per surrogacy journey. Since you have no idea how your body handles pregnancy (many healthy women have unexplained infertility or recurrent miscarriages or incompetent cervix with no known cause), it would not be fair for parents to risk their everything for you to try to carry for them - even if it was not a legal requirement for you to already have children. There are many ways to make a positive difference for families, and I'm confident you'll find some meaningful way to help someone in need.
  11. I am with a new agency and have received the profile of a potential family. We're just waiting to get to know each other to confirm whether we are a match. If everything goes smoothly, I'm guessing blindly that we'll work on clearance in July, contracts in August, and get a calendar for September-October transfer. Kiddos and I are taking a road trip later this month. 16 states in 8 days! It'll mesh well with our homeschool study of history (settlers and pioneers) as well as geography. They have to journal what they see each day so writing is covered. We'll calculate miles and budgets for math. And I can tie in some science too as the land scenery changes from east coast to west coast
  12. How is everyone doing? Where are you in your surrogacy life? Is anything going on in the rest of the world?
  13. Congrats, NJLyn! Maybe google nuchal scan just to know what to expect. And definitely let us know how it goes!