The recommendation for surrogates is to be done with their own families because the hormones surrogates are required to take can cause future infertility, and every pregnancy runs the risk of complications that would prevent future pregnancy. So please make sure that you are very content with having only one child before you commit to carrying another family’s child.
Second, are you in a committed relationship? Are you surrounded by people who can help with your baby while you spend days or even a week handling medical appointments for screening and embryo transfer? IVF pregnancies carry higher risks of complications, so that support network will be needed if you end up on bed rest as early as 5 weeks pregnant.
Are you financially stable? Your finances will need to be documented for the contract to be legal because surrogates cannot be financially motivated. Surrogacy requires a lot of travel and a lot of time off from work for appointments. You’ll eventually be compensated for missed time, but it might be in the form of a set fee for embryo transfer more than a year after you first matched with a family.
Regarding depression, you should be able to get medically and psychologically approved for surrogacy if you are stable off meds for a year or more. However, you may need to be able to document why you were on meds for a decade if the only cause for depression was a single event in middle school. I’m very sorry for your loss, and I don’t mean to make light of the situation. It may simply be that the agency saw the length of time that your condition required medication, and they are concerned that you haven’t been off long enough yet.
Many surrogates are in our late 30s and early 40s, so there’s plenty of time to work on your family and any other requirements needed to get clearance for surrogacy. The passion grows stronger over time until all the circumstances are right.
Have you checked in with your mental health provider and your OB to see if they’d recommend you for surrogacy? Maybe if you had written recommendations from all your doctors recommending you as a good candidate you might get through the screening smoother with an agency and fertility clinic.
Lots of things to consider Best wishes!