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About MeAgainAndWontGiveUp

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    Future Intended Mom

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  1. Doing SM-program abroad, and just learnt (from our 3-month pregnant SM whom I became a friend with) that the Agency had hidden from us her chronic kidney condition (pielonephritis) and CPV-virus, both extremely dangerous for the fetus development... And the urologist and infectionist whom the agency used, "approved" the candidate anyway. We have already had complications in this pregnancy, from two bleedings riskig miscarriage, to antibiotic treatment of her pielonephritis during the first trimester (the worst time to treat with antibiotics)... and now I've learnt about the CPV virus, and we'll start investigating it tomorrow. Just how much pain and nerves and worries does it take, on top of all that has already been "invested" into infertility treatments and failed hopes... ? This is our first pregnancy that passed beyond 3 m... and we were naive to think the worst was over... Welcome to your second trimester. Speechless and... have so much to say, at the same time. But, mostly, sooo terribly sad to be fooled both by the agency and the SM - otherwise a sweet girl who didn't know better... and really needed the money... How could they take the risk at the expense of my baby's life and health. How can we survive this and not go insane??? And, if something did happen to the baby, and it survives, invalidated... How can I live with the knowledge that I could have prevented it, if only I hadn't trusted ANYBODY. Not the doctors. Not the agency. Not the SM. Not even myself :(((