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traci72 last won the day on October 15

traci72 had the most liked content!

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About traci72

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    new adventures on the horizon

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  • Surrogacy Status
    the next step begins....

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    I have 4 children that are my main interests right now. 2 boys, 20 and 17, and 2 girls, 15yrs and 11 1/2yrs. I'm an avid reader, do volunteer work through both my church and through a local community agency and am now a surrogate coordinator for an agency. I love animals (we currently have 3 cats...for now), family games/card games, meeting people, going to the zoo, and a host of other things.

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  1. D&J update

    I know it doesn't make it any easier or less worrisome, but as mentioned above, bleeding is quite common, especially in IVF pg's. It's called an SCH...subchorionic hemotoma. Basically it's a bruise somewhere in the uterus. It can be located just about anywhere. Sometimes it's small enough or high enough up that it is reabsorbed and one might never notice or realize it and sometimes it's a bit larger or placement makes it being expelled more likely. If it's located closer to the cervix or is slightly larger, it's more likely to come out vs be reabsorbed. Often it is not a reason to be concerned and resolves just fine on it's own w/no adverse effects. Other times there can be pain or cramping associated and longer bleeding/spotting, in which case she would be monitored more closely, put on pelvic rest, possibly bed rest until it resolves. The problem w/bed rest is that it doesn't do anything to help and depending on the length of time, can be more detrimental in the long run. It's a GREAT sign that they saw baby and she was doing so well. Also, if they weren't able to visualize the bleed, it may be gone now, which would be great! I know it's always easier said than done, but deep breaths and try not to worry too much. Fingers crossed that it's resolved and your GS and baby will be well.
  2. beachalice update

    Great update!! Can't wait to hear how the U/S goes....gonna be a long wait! LOL! Glad to hear you got some good feedback/instructions on the exercising too.
  3. Looking to be a surrogate

    I have removed most of your post, as it is in violation of the TOU that you agreed to when joining this site. I will address the above though. In many states, this is a LEGAL requirement as well as a CLINIC requirement, not an "agency" requirement. In the state in which you live, it is a legal requirement. There is no getting around it, and frankly, while I think your heart is in the right place, there are rules and requirements for a reason, and surrogacy is not about 'you'. (general you as in all surrogates, not you specifically) It is about the parents and their children, mitigating as much risk and cost as possible. By trying to get around these things, it puts the parents and children in legal jeopardy, as well as huge financial costs that are not necessary, when it's not necessary.
  4. I did a sibling journey for surrobabe#2's parents and we all agreed that we wanted to use our same original contract. We had been very happy w/what was included on it and were all on the same page. When we got 1st draft, I noticed that there were a LOT of wording changes, some additions of things we had not discussed (nor wanted) and a number of things that had been removed. This was not due to my IP's, but rather the agency had made changes to the basic contract. (they have a general contract that is used, but it is customized to each surrogate/IP) I didn't realize this at the time and called my IP's rather concerned. We went over it (over 50pgs!) line by line and changed it back together to what we wanted. I'm assuming, since this is a sibling project, that we're on pretty good terms w/your IP's? I'd be open/honest and mentioned that you noticed these changes and are they ok w/changing them back to what they were the 1st time. This would include the lost wages. You may find that you don't want/need to take the full 6wks off (sometimes an employer won't allow you back until you have a note from your Dr clearing you) and that's fine. You wouldn't claim for that additional time. From experience though, depending on your line of work, 2wks may not be nearly enough.
  5. Waiting to exercise

  6. Waiting to exercise

    I was always told to use common sense and nothing too strenuous until after HB, but light exercises were ok, and only if there were things I had already been doing. No "new" exercises or routines until after the U/S.
  7. Transfer and Waiting

    I can't even imagine how scary that had to have been!! Fingers crossed and praying for a successful transfer!!!
  8. My sister wants to be my surrogate

    What you are proposing is potentially illegal, depending on your states laws and beyond a horrible idea for everyone involved, most especially any potential resulting baby. You can NOT get around the fact that you AND your sister must have your own separate attorneys and not having a contract in place is not even remotely an option. You do not know if she meets the requirements to be a surrogate for you, you don't know if a TS situation is legal in your state, and if it is, you don't know if you can legally get away w/doing home insems. You are suggesting putting your sister at great risk legally, medically speaking, is your responsibility to get an insurance policy that covers here. She absolutely can not be on or use govt. assistance for medical, food or cash benefits, so that is not an option. Not following all legal requirements and guidelines, having attorneys and a contract, your sister is the legal mother of that child. Not following proper steps puts that child in legal jeopardy. What happens if you are not financially covering your responsibilities to her and the pg, it stresses your relationship, she is left w/bills and debt because of this and decides to sue you for child support? (this HAS actually happened, several times, in almost this exact situation) Or because you've chosen to not follow all the proper steps, she gets pg, has the baby and THEN you decide to try and do things "right", get to court and the judge sees that you skipped step after step? You're not going to get custody of your own child and will had thousands more in legal costs to try and make it all right, and it's still not a guarantee it'll all work out. I very strongly urge and suggest you stop everything and any thought of moving forward right now, until you've done a LOT more research, learned the laws in your state, have talked to an attorney, your own primary care Dr and get a referral to a fertility specialist and talk to them. If you can't afford to do these small things, you are not going to be able to cover a surrogate pg nor the aftermath when things go wrong if you follow what you've laid out above.
  9. New to Surrogacy

    Here are a few tips for you... #1- pay attention to the forums and post your threads in the correct, or as close to correct, topic/forum as possible. Posting threads in clearly wrong places indicates that you just don't care enough to even bother looking. #2- read what you are posting before you post it. Is is legible? Can other members read and remotely understand what you are writing, or do your sentences sound like gibberish or nonsense? Attached to this would be to consider using spell check. #3- This is a BIGGIE. Are you ready for it? READ THE RULES AND TOU OF THE SITE THAT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO AGREE TO WHEN YOU JOINED!!! You do NOT advertise your business, especially in the Chatbox. #4- Do NOT LIE about who you are and what your role in surrogacy is. That's pretty much common sense, but I guess not everyone has any. Trying to misrepresent who you are and continuing the lies is a great way to get removed. This is your only warning. Violate the TOU again or try to spam your business and you WILL be removed. Period.
  10. You really haven't provided any information to go on, but in general, no. #1 your fertility has zero to do w/anything related to surrogacy, so it doesn't matter if you feel you are fertile or not. #2 are you raising your children? You mention you put 2 up for adoption, so is that 6 live births but only raising 4 children? If that is the case, they would look into why you put 2 up for adoption as well as that the RE's/clinic's do limit the number of births. If it was 6 live births, the majority of RE's would say no based just on that. Depending on the mental health issue and if you are on med's for it, that would more determine a yes/no answer. If you're on med's, no. You should be off med's for 6mos-1yr typically, but again, depending on what the condition is, chances are that it's going to be a no.
  11. Agency and Escrow

    Ok, so I responded some above, but will put the rest of my response down here. So, what is typical/common, is to have the full comp amt, amts for things like c-section, multiples, maternity clothes, transfer/meds fee, etc deposited in full into an escrow acct prior to the transfer ever happening, w/an additional amt. I've seen this amt as low as $3,000 and as high as $10,000, which would be to cover OOP expenses (co-pays, prenatals, etc), mileage reimbursement, travel expenses to the surrogate (typically meals, if she had to pay to park her car at the airport, other expense related to but not paid for in advance, of travel/transfer), lost wages and anything not specifically attached to her comp. If those funds drop below 'x' level, then the IP's are required to deposit a sum to bring this fund back up to the contracted amt. At the end of the contract period, after all bills have been paid out of this fund and everything is said and done, the remaining amt is refunded back to the IP's. My personal experience as a surrogate is that my IP's were always required to maintain $5,000 for these purposes, and that if it feel below I think $1-2,000, they had to make deposits until it was back to the $5,000. *Most* of the surrogates w/the agency I work for now have this same stipulation in the same amt, though I think 1 or 2 have had a higher amt. ALL of this money though, is maintained in the same escrow acct and he keeps detailed records of how much is in the accts to cover comp, etc and how much is available for these other things. If they are not providing you w/any accounting of these funds, how much went where and when, then I would have a huge issue w/them. If they are keeping a discretionary acct of this $5,000 in their agency acct, *as long as* they provide a min. of monthly invoices detailing every last penny as well as providing it upon request, I wouldn't have as much of an issue. No matter how they are doing it, if they can't, aren't or aren't willing to provide this information, I would call them out on it and want my money moved immediately.
  12. feeling very full

    Those are seriously the most beautiful sight!!! Well, until your IP's are holding this little one!! SO.FREAKING.EXCITED for you all!!!!!
  13. New to Surrogacy

    Um, how exactly are you new to surrogacy? You have a child through surrogacy and you just started your own surrogacy business. If you're "new to surrogacy", you shouldn't be in that business and either way, you shouldn't misrepresent yourself.
  14. I'm sorry there isn't any feedback. I'm unfamiliar w/out there, so I'm no help.
  15. feeling very full

    Super excited for you!! CONGRATS!!!!!!