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traci72 last won the day on October 15 2017

traci72 had the most liked content!

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202 Excellent

About traci72

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    new adventures on the horizon

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  • Surrogacy Status
    the next step begins....

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  • Interests
    I have 4 children that are my main interests right now. 2 boys, 20 and 17, and 2 girls, 15yrs and 11 1/2yrs. I'm an avid reader, do volunteer work through both my church and through a local community agency and am now a surrogate coordinator for an agency. I love animals (we currently have 3 cats...for now), family games/card games, meeting people, going to the zoo, and a host of other things.

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  1. Base compensation

    There really is no "normal". Comp is as individual as each surrogate. I know quite a few surrogates....1st time AND experienced...that have their comp at less than $15K. 1st time comp I see, on avg, between $20-28K, but some that have asked as much at $45K (and still aren't matched). Things such as if the surrogate has surro-friendly insurance, if they work or are a SAHM, if they require childcare (younger children) or not, etc can all come into play when considering comp.
  2. I'm really sorry for your experience. I've tried reaching out to try and get an idea of the experiences of others, though mostly surrogates are who have left reviews, which other than 1-2 of them, they were positive. Only 1 IP responded to me and stated that they had a positive experience. I don't know if it matters whether the IP's are US or international at all though. I would appreciate if you could update as you move forward w/whether or not things have improved w/her or her agency or if you do indeed sue her.
  3. Base compensation

    This is something that should have been discussed and decided on long before you ever get to contracts. You don't wait until this point to come up w/something. Comp is a HUGE part of the decision for the IP's to choose to agree to the match w/the surrogate. Whatever you told the IP's or agency prior to this is that you need to stick with. For a 1st time surrogate, $30K WITH good insurance is pushing it, but a surrogate should ask for what she feels is fair to her and her family. I will say that if I were an IP at contracts and this just now came up or was more than what was presented to me during matching, I would be incredibly upset and potentially walk away.
  4. Adoubleux57 POAS/BETA thread

    WHOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!! Congrats to BOTH of you on those great betas!!!!! Love me some knocked up surrogates!!!
  5. Adoubleux57 POAS/BETA thread

  6. Adoubleux57 POAS/BETA thread

  7. Contracts

    A retainer fee is not something that's common to see, but it can serve a couple of purposes. If you are just matching but the IP's need time to move forward, it is an incentive to wait until they are able to move forward. Sometimes it's to find a new ED, maybe create more embryos, they could be moving/new jobs/etc and need to get settled, there could be a family event/death that they need to hold off temporarily. If you're matched and have already done a transfer, it could be that they need to create more embryos, or maybe one was laid off/lost their job and have to get finances back in order. Typically the monthly allowance would cover this type of delay, but it could be changed and referred to as a retainer fee maybe.
  8. Mum to 9 and looking to be a surrogate

    Yes, you are correct. When I started in surrogacy, the ASRM guidelines were not what they are now. Over the last couple of years they have become more strict, and for good reason. In all honesty, I should NOT have done the last surrogacy that I did, but there were specific reasons why the RE approved me and why I moved forward w/it. There are rules, requirements and guidelines for very good reasons. It doesn't make a bit of difference that you're other pg's have had no issues or been straightforward. That goes for every surrogate out there or they wouldn't be approved by the RE to be a surrogate. "Doing this well" is also kind of a requirement or those women wouldn't be able to be approved. This is not about *you (general you) no matter how much someone wants to do this. This is about the IP's, their potential baby/ies, their financial/emotional/legal risks that they are taking. If you had already been a surrogate previously and this was for a sibling, then I could see you possibly being approved to carry one last time, however, that is not the case. Having delivered 9 babies already is a huge risk to expect IP's to take on and it doesn't seem like you're open to hearing that or grasping that it is incredibly unlikely for any reputable RE to approve you.
  9. Contracts

    You can read through this forum and find a LOT of thoughts and suggestions. I've learned a lot from my 1st surrogacy to my last and have tweaked things here and there. Some for me have been changing the payment structure (1st time it was trimester payments, after that it was equal monthly payments), changing when a multiples fee was started to be paid out (late 2nd tri or 3rd tri is not acceptable to me), making sure that 'child care' was NOT limited to only a licensed provider/daycare facility/etc. (both my mom and DS#1 have had to step up, and I wanted to make sure that any family/friend that provided any care could be reimbursed) and that there were no caps on my lost wages, in the event of bedrest. I was specific as to how far along I might be that I would agree to termination and under what conditions I would have one. After having carried twins, I made sure my contracts reflected that I would only do a SET also. Travel restrictions is another. Some are severely limited earlier on in the pg and have to travel for their job, so they get screwed. I live in a boarder town, as do my parents in the state next to mine. The closest hospital in my state from my parents is 30mins (less w/lights and sirens), so my contract stated that I couldn't travel beyond where they live after 'x' number of weeks, but because it was so close, the limit was like 36wks I believe. Some will state you can't go more than 70mi from the hospital you'll be delivering at, or some variation of that. This IS important because of the legal and financial implications for the IP's and their legal parentage of their own child. Food is another. Some IP's request very strict dietary restrictions of their surrogate, others are more liberal and trust the surrogate. Make sure that you understand their expectations when you are matching and read over the contract very closely. There will always be restrictions on amt of caffeine, often fish, sushi, etc, but it is not unheard of to see some pretty crazy things listed to either avoid or that they want the surrogate to eat. (nationality can also play a big part in dietary demands)
  10. Mum to 9 and looking to be a surrogate

    Unfortunately it is highly unlikely that you would be able to be approved. ASRM guidelines recommend no more than 5 pg's, and more and more RE's are following the guidelines much more closely. If your friend is an experienced surrogate, she would not advocate you trying to get around this. There are rules and guidelines in place for a reason, and having delivered 9 babies, each subsequent pg is at a MUCH higher risk, which is not what surrogacy is about. It's so wonderful that you'd love to help in this way, but surrogacy is about mitigating the risk factors and putting the IP's and any potential baby above our own desires. There are many other ways in which you can help support surrogacy that would be more beneficial to all.
  11. 22 week update

    What a great update!! Can you believe how fast it's going? That's great that you got the paperwork. I know that's one less thing to worry about. My 1st IP's got a PBO, but that attorney didn't go through proper channels (she pulled some strings and I actually never even saw it until we were in court!), so my experience w/PBO's is more anxiety producing. Once we get some legal framework here, it will be nice! Fingers crossed that the glucose test treats you nicely. I haven't been able to do that since my WLS and I was pg w/DD#2 and learned the hard way. (I have to do a hemoglobin A1C instead) I can still taste it though in my mind! GAG!! Do you do the orange or the lemon-lime? Back in the day, the orange was the only one I had the option of, but I've heard the lemon-lime isn't "as bad" tasting.
  12. Low in Vitamin D

    I went through this too when pg w/the twins. My Dr suggested I take it w/OJ and that it should be easier. I don't have stomach acids any more, which is why she thought maybe it was so hard on me. It DID help some and, IMO, it seemed to help it absorb a bit better. I had gastric bypass many years ago, so I don't absorb most things as I should. I tried to get more time outside in the sun (that's how we get vit. c naturally!!), making sure I had sunscreen on! Even just putting the window down while driving helps get that little bit extra. Also, if you try the OJ and it doesn't seem to help, break up the amt over a couple of days. You're still getting the amt you need in the time frame of a week, but it may be easier on your stomach.
  13. Beta #

    Waiting for the U/S is almost as tortuous as waiting for the beta!!
  14. Beta #

    I'm not going to lie, it is ALWAYS a possibility, and over the last year, I have seen a significant jump in splitters. That said, I have ALWAYS had insanely high numbers (IMO) whether w/twins or singletons, and beta's can't tell you one way or the other. My 1st surrogacy was a SET. The RE said that up until that point, he hadn't seen a beta as high as mine at that point, and it only be one. He told us to prepare for twins as he felt certain it was a splitter. That singleton baby will be 10yrs old this Spring! My twin pg was 200 pts above that singleton pg, so we thought just 1 embryo took...until the viability U/S. Since we transferred 2 embryos, we really should NOT have been surprised, but we were. I have a dear friend that had an incredibly low beta w/her twin pg (surrogacy) and they thought *if the pg stayed (thought it could be a chemical) that it was only 1, so you just never know until the U/S.