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Everything posted by traci72

  1. what are big no for GC?

    Not sure what that agency's issue is w/someone that already has children, but they are off base. I've known quite a few surrogates that have carried for IP's that have had several children. Just because one has a child...or several...does not mean that they are any less deserving of having another one. (or 2 or 3...!!) There are some surrogates that prefer to work w/couples that have already had children as they feel they understand more about the pg, etc. I agree w/Beachalice and they should talk to another agency.
  2. Aaaawwww....THANK YOU for coming back to update us all. What a cutie he is! You and your surrogate a both special people, and I'm glad I was able to get to follow along a bit!
  3. Gestational Carrier PSYCH Evaluation

    ***Surrogate360*** You post was not approved as #1 it had zero to do w/this thread, #2 it was not helpful in anyway, shape or form and #3 was pretty insulting to the OP of this thread and those that have responded. In the few posts that you have had, they have either had to be deleted or edited in general and your 'reputation' is not good. For someone that is attempting to run an agency, you are doing very poorly on this board. Based on what I've seen, I have a LOT of concern for any IP's or surrogates that sign up w/you. I am strongly suggesting to you, that you actually READ a post and the responses before you decide to post again and THINK before you hit enter. If you continue to try and post things that are similar to what I have stated in this reply, you will be removed from this site.
  4. beachalice update

    Great update!!! It looks like it's trying to start resolve itself, which would be great! It's nice to hear that it's next to baby and not above baby or behind the placenta. I'm betting it will be completely or almost completely, resolved by the next U/S. Glad to hear about the provider update as well. Fingers crossed this place will be a good fit for you!!
  5. Hopefully DragonDad will pop in and can share his experience. While he's not a single IP, he does work in a somewhat "formal" job and has been through this multiple times. He would definitely have some good insight into this. Personally, I don't think that it's anyone's business to know all or even any details if you don't want to share them. IMO, it's rude to ask personal questions when it comes to family building, and if someone is going to step over that line, they should be prepared to have just as personal questions asked of them right back. Surrogacy is very personal and for some, very difficult to understand. Unless absolutely necessary, I wouldn't share more than necessary in explaining it, unless you have a closer relationship w/a given person and are comfortable w/it. Pretty sure you haven't been digging into your co-workers lives about how and when they are adding children, so it shouldn't be any different for you.
  6. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Holy Hannah!! That's freaking CRAZY!!! I've seen people comment that the transfer part was around $12-15K, but I never knew if that included the ER as well or not. I've seen IP's that I know that have gone indy and had a range from $40-100+K for everything, so I KNOW there are ways to save costs. I'm thinking that Kaiser just sucks all around for IVF and surrogacy. That right there just ties your hands if it wouldn't work the 1st time. Just insane!!
  7. Birth Plan - Delivery

    Surrogate me- I always wanted to know what my IP's wishes were for the baby, in the event that they didn't make it in time for the birth. Did they want the vit. K shot, eye ointment, any other shots recommended, if it was a boy, what were their circ. wishes? Did they prefer the baby be cared for by the nurses or would they want me to watch over baby? Did they want photos of the birth and if so, were they ok w/me finding someone or did they have someone in mind? Were they ok w/being in the room w/me during labor? During the delivery? What were their hopes/wishes/expectations during our time in the Birthing Center. (including after the delivery) It was important to me, that they understand that I know my own body and how I labor, and that they be ok w/my choice for pain management. (I don't use med's and wanted to make sure that it wasn't something that they would try to push on me) Because it is a whole family endeavor for me and my family, in the beginning, it was important for me, that my children see my IP's w/their child as a family. That they understand what their sacrifices were for and that they helped support these people becoming a complete family and that no, the baby was NOT coming home w/us. (lol) It turned into something that has actually happened w/each delivery, but at the request of my IP's and not me, which I felt was very kind and thoughtful. I wanted to try and include them as much as they were comfortable and as much as possible w/the labor/birth, while still being able to maintain my typical birth "routine", and staying w/in the allowed framework of my Birthing Center. Coordinator me- This is something that I feel an agency can/should help facilitate if the surrogate and/or IP's would like help w/this. It's always something that I hope is discussed during matching and contracts, but sometimes it's not. A coordinator can help open the lines of communication between all parties to help find out what each expects or hopes might happen. Understand that any/all plans need to remain flexible because labors do not always go as planned. We can help explain some of the potential "what-if's" that could arise to the IP's and maybe bring up things that they hadn't thought of. What happens in an emergency c-section? What are their expectations if the surrogate can only have 1 person in there? (in an emergent c-section, NOBODY but medical professional will be allowed in) We can help navigate things w/the hospital/birthing center as needed as well. In some cases, if needed, a coordinator can be present on the sidelines to help where needed. You should feel free to reach out to your agency at any point to help navigate this part if you feel you'd like that help.
  8. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Everything that is done w/the attorneys can be done remotely via email, phone calls, texts, etc. You want to make sure that they are experienced in 3rd party reproduction, the contract needs to be based in the state that the baby will be delivered in and the attorney needs to be licensed to practice in that state. Other than that, look for one that fits your budget and you feel is on the same page as you/that you feel comfortable with.
  9. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    They never specifically mentioned the names of the policies. They discussed each individual state w/how many friendly policies there were, how many had liens on them, how many policies did NOT cover a surrogate pg, how many pulled out of the marketplace, how many had ambiguous wording and how many (if any) they were still waiting to hear back from w/policy booklets so they could review those.
  10. New IPs with surrogate in North California

    Sorry!! I totally read that as "North Carolina" scratch that about only having 1 policy available. California has TWO (2) policies that are surrogate friendly, though I do not remember if they said both policies cover the entire state or if they are regional. There are also TWO (2) policies available that hold liens against the surrogates contract, which is what I mentioned about Kaiser above. ArcLight is the company that my agency works w/as far as finding policies for our surrogates and they are amazing! (they've been holding multiple webinars for us, going over the new changes for the 2018 plan year) ArtRisk is the other company that specializes in helping find policies.
  11. hospital not in network

    Unfortunately there are going to be quite a few surrogates whose Dr's/clinics/hospitals will now be out of network, thanks to the changes taking place. There are fewer options overall, that are covering surrogate pg's. I don't know if you would need to have an addendum or not. I would start by talking to your Dr, explaining the situation w/insurance and ask for a referral. If he/she isn't able to give one, I'd call the L&D at that hospital and talk to the nurses, see if they have any they recommend you look into...or who to stay away from. Once you find one, you can have your records sent there.
  12. the best gift in my live

    Have you found a surrogate for this? If you are doing the IVF for yourself, you might find other infertility boards more helpful. If you will be using a surrogate, then you are in the right place.
  13. Looking to become a surrogate

    A couple of more things.... You live in NY, which in and of itself will make it incredibly challenging to find a match for you to be a surrogate, due to the states laws. If you are able to find a psych that would clear you and an RE that would be willing to work w/you, finding IP's willing to risk having a surrogate in NY will take a longer time AND you can't receive compensation for it. Those are things to consider. You make a comment about not having to use an agency....while I'm quite certain it's not the intent, others may construe the statement as you are trying to look for ways to get around or skirt certain requirements, in order to fulfill your "dream". Going indy is not a way to get around laws, requirements, etc. The same rules/requirements through an agency are going to be the same going indy. If you are serious about becoming a surrogate, then you will absolutely make sure you meet every last requirement and be willing to jump through all the hoops you need to, to do it right. And just because you might not be qualified at this point in time, doesn't mean that you won't be in a year, 2yrs, 3yrs or more down the road. You literally have at least 20yrs ahead of you that you could be a surrogate. It's not going anywhere anytime soon either.
  14. Looking to become a surrogate

    1000% agree w/Beachalice. Speaking from the agency side of things. looking at how long you were on meds vs how long you've been off them, there would be a big hesitation in even passing your application on for a records review, because this is something that would be brought up. I've worked w/psychologists both personally as a surrogate and professionally as a coordinator, and this is something I've seen come up. It is completely understandable for the cause, but the length of time is really long and you haven't been off them long compared, and I doubt any psych would approve you to move forward based on that. Keep in mind that agencies have clinics that they work w/most often, and the "rules" that an agency goes by are what the CLINIC/RE sets as a requirement. We aren't saying no because we're being mean, but because of our experience w/these particular clinics and already know what they are going to say. It wouldn't be fair if we said "Sure! Fill out an application and we'll find you a match!", knowing that the RE or psych would rule you out right now. It helps you from wasting your time as well. To add on to a suggestion above, know that there is a HUGE difference between carrying another pg for yourself vs carrying a baby for another couple, who by that point have spent many thousands of $$$ already, and have to spend many MORE thousands of $$$ during and just after a pg. There are a lot of Dr's out there that say sure, you're good to get pg again (when there are issues/concerns), but they don't understand that it would be for someone else. It's one thing to take on risks when it's your own pg, but the purpose of surrogacy is to reduce as many potential risks as possible.
  15. Gestational Carrier PSYCH Evaluation

    This is WONDERFUL news!!!! So glad to see this update!!
  16. I will be volunteering there for most of the day, but if you ever want to meet up for coffee and chat, I do work in Burnsville Tues/Thurs mornings and my full time job from home is very flexible. I can also "hook you up" w/another IM that would be a great resource for surrogacy, though she did GS and not TS.
  17. They put forth their recommendations, but we don't know when they might try to attach it to another bill. There are a couple of groups that continually try to sneak in a bill that would make surrogacy illegal altogether, but we've managed to block them for the most part. RESOLVE has been working VERY closely w/us as well as our Lobbyist, to get positive and clear legislation put through. Because there is no timeline right now, I have been seeing some judges be a little more conservative w/the parentage proceedings, but are still granting them just fine. I have not seen a TS go through in quite some time, but the feedback I'm hearing has not been positive on the views of the judges. Are you aware of the Resolve summit coming up on Nov. 18? It will be at the Normandale Collage and Steve Snyder will be a guest speaker on surrogacy. If possible, I would highly encourage you to attend and get the most up to date info in these regards!
  18. Ok, and one last thing....since you are looking into TS, I would urge you to make sure that you are looking at other states and not MN for your TS. While we've been fighting for legislation since at least 2008, things have changed and TS is something that has really come under fire. We just finished w/a long commission hearing session and one of the recommendations that have come out, is to ban TS. GS has been super accepted here and the judges have had no issues allowing GS, but things are significantly more "tricky" surrounding TS.
  19. Welcome to the boards and if you start reading (I would suggest the Traditional Surrogacy forum), you will learn a lot. Just about anything you can think of you can put in the 'search' box up top and do a search for it. You'll find there is a lot of crossover between TS and GS, so don't forget to read through the GS forum as well. If you don't find the topic you are looking for, feel free to post and ask. Typically I would have edited your post as it comes across almost as a matching post, but not completely. Looking for/soliciting a match in the Forums is against the TOU, but please feel free to place an ad (or respond to one if it catches your eye!!) in our Classified's section. **also, you're not that far from me!!
  20. beachalice update

    Well, that's great!! and that sucks!! Hopefully most of it will resolve itself and absorb more than bleeding out. Are they going to do another scan to check on it, or just wait to see if you experience bleeding?
  21. If her insurance is through the state and considered Medicaid, she would be deemed ineligible to be a surrogate at this time. Between that and stating that she is low income, the courts could very well deny parentage to you for coercion. That could cost you many thousands more than you planned for. Who ever you are using as your attorney there, to handle your contract, that would be a good person to talk to regarding the laws that govern surrogacy there, and if she would be (legally speaking) a good option. All of you do all still need a psych eval (I believe that's the law in CA) before beginning as well.
  22. The waiting game sucks

    Wow. I wonder why it took them so long? I had something similar happen, but it was w/my psych eval report, but that was really due more to an ego/power trip than anything. I'm glad they FINALLY got it sent over and hope that contracts don't take too long. Can't wait to follow your next journey!!
  23. Single man looking for surrogacy?

    Spamming or trying to advertise for that business is a quick way to get yourself banned from this site. That may not be your intention, but that's exactly what you are doing and the post will not be approved, nor will any future posts that mention them.