Surrogate me- I always wanted to know what my IP's wishes were for the baby, in the event that they didn't make it in time for the birth. Did they want the vit. K shot, eye ointment, any other shots recommended, if it was a boy, what were their circ. wishes? Did they prefer the baby be cared for by the nurses or would they want me to watch over baby? Did they want photos of the birth and if so, were they ok w/me finding someone or did they have someone in mind? Were they ok w/being in the room w/me during labor? During the delivery? What were their hopes/wishes/expectations during our time in the Birthing Center. (including after the delivery) It was important to me, that they understand that I know my own body and how I labor, and that they be ok w/my choice for pain management. (I don't use med's and wanted to make sure that it wasn't something that they would try to push on me) Because it is a whole family endeavor for me and my family, in the beginning, it was important for me, that my children see my IP's w/their child as a family. That they understand what their sacrifices were for and that they helped support these people becoming a complete family and that no, the baby was NOT coming home w/us. (lol) It turned into something that has actually happened w/each delivery, but at the request of my IP's and not me, which I felt was very kind and thoughtful. I wanted to try and include them as much as they were comfortable and as much as possible w/the labor/birth, while still being able to maintain my typical birth "routine", and staying w/in the allowed framework of my Birthing Center.
Coordinator me- This is something that I feel an agency can/should help facilitate if the surrogate and/or IP's would like help w/this. It's always something that I hope is discussed during matching and contracts, but sometimes it's not. A coordinator can help open the lines of communication between all parties to help find out what each expects or hopes might happen. Understand that any/all plans need to remain flexible because labors do not always go as planned. We can help explain some of the potential "what-if's" that could arise to the IP's and maybe bring up things that they hadn't thought of. What happens in an emergency c-section? What are their expectations if the surrogate can only have 1 person in there? (in an emergent c-section, NOBODY but medical professional will be allowed in) We can help navigate things w/the hospital/birthing center as needed as well. In some cases, if needed, a coordinator can be present on the sidelines to help where needed.
You should feel free to reach out to your agency at any point to help navigate this part if you feel you'd like that help.