PhysChic

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PhysChic last won the day on April 23 2014

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About PhysChic

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  • Surrogacy Status
    Screening

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  1. Advice wanted please

    My kids were 5 and 3 when I did my first journey. It wasn't too hard to explain to them that the baby wasn't ours (we also bought the kids book that explains surrogacy using kangaroos). We had to occasionally correct their teachers so they didn't get confused, but it was all really smooth otherwise.
  2. Anyone have problems at work?

    Wow! I'll start with--that candy job sounds awesome. I completely fail every time I try to make caramel corn. I can get the caramel all right, but I can never get it to evenly coat the popcorn. It just ends up being popcorn with some caramel blobs on it. Anyways, thanks for sharing your perspective It's so annoying when people are awful like that just because something makes them uncomfortable. I'm really crossing my fingers that I don't turn out to be working for one of those "bad eggs." My workplace itself is incredibly inclusive and supportive, so I just have to worry about the possibility that a direct supervisor might be offended by surrogacy and make my life suck for a while. Here's hoping I'm just being super paranoid!
  3. Anyone have problems at work?

    Thanks for the advice! I definitely think I'm going to move forward with a second surrogacy :). How did you inform people at work? Did you have a private meeting with your supervisors or wait until it became obvious and someone brought it up? I realize that it's probably the same basic concept as any pregnancy, but I honestly don't remember how I've done it before and this is the first time I've been in such a professional environment.
  4. Hi all! It's been quite a while since I've been on these boards. I was a successful surrogate back in the 2014/2015 range, at which point I was a grad student and had a reasonably supportive advisor (who got a little annoyed with me being less productive toward the end of pregnancy, but that's beside the point). Now, I'm at a full-time job and doing fairly well, but I'm a little worried about another surrogacy potentially affecting my career long-term--if someone who has control over my advancement has something against surrogacy or something like that. Has anyone on here had any experience one way or another with this sort of thing? I'm super excited about doing another surrogacy, but I also don't want to cripple my career in the process...
  5. Time to Finally Relax a Bit?

    I can't offer much advice, but-- There are a few basic milestones that are often good points to consider whether you're ready to share the news: (1) after the first U/S in which a heartbeat is confirm (this is the first point at which the risk of miscarriage drops significantly), (2) after 12 weeks, when the placenta has officially taken over the pregnancy, (3) at the 20 week U/S (which just seems to make everything more real), and (4) viability (the point at which a baby born would be likely to survive). I always felt okay sharing the news after the 12 week point, but I don't quite know how it all feels from the IP perspective. However, I know my IPs were very resistant to discuss anything regarding labor/delivery until after the 20 week U/S (even after the Nuchal-Translucency scan at 11.5 weeks, they still weren't quite convinced it was all really happening) . I also know that's when they started sharing the news with family and friends.
  6. Switching practioners, and OBGYN's vs. CNM's

    Like Babz said, whether you can use a CNM or an OB is not up to your RE at all, but rather your IPs (essentially, is there something in your contract about it or not). If your contract says not allowed, you technically still have the option of discussing it with the IPs if it's really important to you and potentially adding some sort of addendum to the contract (I don't know anything about how that works, but I'm sure you can update it if you're both in agreement). My contract states that I must receive care by a board certified provider, but that encompasses CNMs, so I'm covered. With my first pregnancy, I was with a practice of several OBs. With my second pregnancy and with this surrogacy, I'm with a practice which includes both CNMs and OBs. Who I see on a given visit depends on both availability and my preferences. Because I have selected that I prefer CNMs, that's who I normally see in my regular visits. If things got complicated (i.e. required surgery), I'd be automatically switched over to an OB. I'll also be able to have a CNM attend the birth, unless it's Sunday since my practice is currently slightly short-staffed. As for my experiences with each of my previous pregnancies, I do feel like the CNMs give me a little bit more time and personal attention and are just as "go-with-the-flow" as I am about everything (later induction date, etc.). I felt the CNM helped me manage the pain during labor/delivery better than the OB did, but both births felt essentially the same--I had my water broken manually both times and tore both times. I think, regardless of which option you go with, it's more a matter of finding a care provider who is supportive of your wishes. You can find that in both OBs and CNMs. Good luck!
  7. False start--need to vent!

    Thanks all! Still no signs of labor, but I guess that's better than having another false start. Now that we're past the due date, IPs are getting very anxious; they want to talk via phone every other day and keep asking me if I feel any different. I wish I had something I could tell them... Mama-C- I don't have much in the way of a birth plan. I mean, (a) vaginal and (b) don't ask me about pain meds; I'll ask for them if I want them. That's pretty much it. I've tried having conversations with the IPs about what they want, but they keep saying they want the experience to be positive for me and not committing to anything. Oh well.
  8. Hate bright red blood....

    When I had one, the only restrictions my RE gave me were to keep any exercise light and no sex until bleeding had stopped AND I was cleared by my OB (I had already had an U/S through RE to confirm that pregnancy was still a'ok).
  9. So, with my previous two pregnancies, I've never so much as experienced a BH contraction... the very first contraction I felt was the beginning of labor. Yesterday morning (39w6d), I woke up at 1am experiencing contractions that were 17 minutes apart. But after 2.5 hours, I skipped one, then after that one, I skipped another two. By mid-morning, they'd essentially stopped, though I had a few on and off throughout the day and felt crampy the whole time (until around 4pm). I had zero appetite (which I experienced with my two previous labors). Today, I'm back to just feeling pregnant. This baby is posterior and I've read that a false start to labor can be common in this case, but I'm just so frustrated and disappointed, though I'm glad I didn't end up calling my IPs to have them start their drive to me (was about 30 minutes away from that when things started to fizzle). All I can hope, now, is that I don't have another false start and that I don't have to wait another week or so until labor ACTUALLY starts. Anyways, vent over.
  10. Did you always want multiple journeys?

    I didn't go into this planning to do more than one journey, but I'm open to doing this again. My DH and I are planning to have a lengthy talk about it a week or so after I give birth so everything is fresh in our minds. Of course, that doesn't mean we won't change our minds later, but I want to make sure we cover all of the pros and cons while we can still remember them. I'd do it again for my current IPs no hesitation, though.
  11. Would you be a surrogate if...

    I don't think I would be able to, unless it was for a family member. My husband and kids have all suffered during this surrogacy (taking on extra duties, not getting as much attention from me, etc.) and the compensation has helped me feel like it was worth it because I've been able to give them experiences, at least, that they would otherwise not been able to have. This pregnancy also affected my work more than I anticipated and I'm not sure I'd be willing to take such a performance hit at work (potentially affecting my ability to get a raise next year) without the compensation.
  12. Dating my Pregnancy

    How did they do one of each? I don't think there's necessarily a specific way to do it, but I'd date everything based on the 5dt. Your OB will probably date you based on an early U/S anyway.
  13. General Questions

    Mine says I can't have hot dogs at all and I can't have cold lunch meat. I also have to wash any new clothes twice before wearing them. There are a few similar restrictions in there that I can't remember right now. I'm fairly certain the attorney my IPs used had a sort of standard contract that he uses for these sorts of things as I could tell by a few discussions with my IPs that they weren't aware of some of the restrictions in there.
  14. I have a telephone interview next week for a job after graduation. I'm worried about how to handle it if they ask to schedule an in-person interview, which would require air travel. I'm weeks from my due date (mid March) and obviously can't travel for a while. What should I tell them? Should I mention being pregnant (which I know could itself hurt my chances)? Should I tell them it's a surrogate pregnancy (which, obviously, could cause trouble too if the people there view surrogacy negatively)? Should I lie?
  15. About Surrogacy some general questions

    The laws are significantly different by state. Here's a page where you can check out some basics of laws in each state: http://www.creatingfamilies.com/legal/. But I can tell you that it's illegal in New Jersey. You can also poke around this website for some general ideas about costs. They'll vary from agency to agency, but this will give you a good estimate.