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Guest anonymous - PLEASE Help w questi

HELP DNA Testing question

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We are planning on doing a DNA test to confirm that our surrogate is pregnant w the IF sample and have read quite a bit about amino and CVS and have also read about a noninvasive prenatal paternity test sampling the mother's blood, and was wondering if any of you folks have heard anything about the blood test vs the invasive methods……

 

Our traditional surrogacy process is costing us our life savings, (which we are not complaining about as we have wanted our child more than our money) and we do not want to be surprised down the road …. PLEASE we are not looking to be lectured on trusting our surrogate just looking for info regarding testing options…..

 

Thanks in advance

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I didn't even know you could test before birth. Good luck - I hope you get the results you're looking for.

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Can I just ask why you think that the baby may not be the IFs??? I mean I imagine there is always a doubt but to post in what comes off as panic and have a desire to get the test done before birth????

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Ok I posted but not sure where it went....

 

Prenatal Paternity Testing

pre·na·tal (pr-ntl)

adj.

 

Existing or occurring before birth: prenatal medical care.

Prenatal testing is usually not a good idea due to the potential harm to the mother and child. There are two ways to accomplish prenatal testing.

 

Test amniotic cells for the child's specimen. The mother's OB/GYN can perform amniocentesis to extract amniotic fluid, which is then sent to a laboratory for testing. The amniocentesis presents medical risks to the mother and the child. You should discuss those risks with your doctor. Because of those risks, most doctors prefer not to perform an amniocentesis unless there are medical reasons requiring the procedure. If the mother is going to have amniocentesis for medical reasons, then there is no reason not to perform the paternity test. Otherwise, it is better to wait until the baby is born to perform the paternity test.

 

 

Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS). This method of testing has significant risk (including birth defects) and should never be used for the sole purpose of paternity testing. If CVS is going to be performed for medical reasons then it can also be used for paternity testing.

 

 

 

Can I ask why you are concerned about the IF being the father?? Are you seriously concerned that he may not be??? What is the hurry???

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CVS is way too risky for just a paternity test. An amnio might be safer but it isn't without risk. I haven't heard of testing the mothers blood, but if it possible that is probably the only way I would go.

 

Have you talked to your SM about this? Have you considered asking her what her plans would be if the child was not the IFs. Would she still give the baby to you? Would you still want the baby.

 

I think I would be highly offended though if my IFs said they wanted an amnio to PROVE their were the parents. I don't know that I would do it, and I KNOW that my IF is the only one who could have fathered this child.

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I can completely understand your concern. I am sure other IM/IPs have been in your shoes before. And recently there was an article posted stating that a TS indeed get pg w/her dh not IF.

 

I had an amnio w/my first child due my triple screen coming back positive for downs. I also had the amniotic fluid used for a DNA test. It cost about $800 ten yrs ago for the DNA test and it was done in a lab in Seattle but the amnio was done in San Diego.

 

Good Luck!

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there is a lab out of atlant that you can do either the amnio or the mothers blood. i did a lot of reading about this just out of curosity. the cost appears to be about 600.00. the amnio appears to be the most accurate. however, i read the complications are great....

 

good luck! I am a GS and would do a perternity test without thinking twice if my IPs wanted it. I can understand where you are coming from.

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well, not sure what to tell ya.

 

I would be pretty upset if my IP's accused me of being pregnant with the wrong baby.

I hope you all can work through this.

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I would avoid either one of the amnio or CVS if at all possible and try and go the blood draw route. I know it might sound offensive to some but I completely understand where you are coming from... sure there has to be a level of trust there but also you have to protect yourself and make sure there are no doubts. I do hope that your surrogate is OK with this and that everything goes smoothly for you!

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We want to thank everyone for their feedback, and of course we must reiterate that our intentions was not to insult anyone only to gather info .

 

Here is were we will get some of the folks very upset as not all people can see that the discussions has two sides…..

 

We feel if our surrogate stated that she was very upset with this test then in our eyes we would be extremely concerned. In our contract we stated we have the right to DNA testing, and she was cool with that. We were asking the group for feedback on non-invasive DNA blood test vs amino or CVS in an effort to reduce the risk of injuring the baby. As an FYI the risk is apprx 1 in 400 may occur some risk not “2 babies will die for every 100 tested” but with that said we are trying to avoid all risks if possible….

 

Now to reply to the questions/comments:

Baby*Baker “Can I just ask why you think that the baby may not be the IFs???

As IP that did home insems do you think you ever really know… we surely were not in the room. We read some an interesting article that said apprx 1 in 50 woman in the US bore children that were not their husbands and keep it a secret… and that was for their husband.

 

I mean I imagine there is always a doubt but to post in what comes off as panic and have a desire to get the test done before birth????

We did not think we were in a panic mode, but in a research mode trying to discover all our options from the group of subject matter experts…

 

Baby*Baker

We are fully aware of the definitions and the assc risks of Amino and CVS, and that is why we are looking into all our options

 

phrogger

 

Have you talked to your SM about this? Have you considered asking her what her plans would be if the child was not the IFs. Would she still give the baby to you? Would you still want the baby.

 

This is very interesting questions and we have not addressed this question if our IF sample was not used…. To answer the question we would still want a baby but feel we should not have to full compensation as we are not receiving what we agreed to pay for….

 

I think I would be highly offended though if my IFs said they wanted an amnio to PROVE their were the parents. I don't know that I would do it, and I KNOW that my IF is the only one who could have fathered this child..

 

OK, But please keep in mind the story has two sides and only you know for sure and with some IPs the compensation is a huge amount of their life savings…. As we wrote before if our surrogate was against the idea we would put up a red flag….

 

AnnaKay

I can completely understand your concern. I am sure other IM/IPs have been in your shoes before. And recently there was an article posted stating that a TS indeed get pg w/her dh not IF.

 

I had an amnio w/my first child due my triple screen coming back positive for downs. I also had the amniotic fluid used for a DNA test. It cost about $800 ten yrs ago for the DNA test and it was done in a lab in Seattle but the amnio was done in San Diego.

 

We are glad you can understand our concern, which at this point we are not saying we are concerned just trying to gather as much info as possible on amino, CVS and blood test.

 

growinit4them

there is a lab out of atlant that you can do either the amnio or the mothers blood. i did a lot of reading about this just out of curosity. the cost appears to be about 600.00. the amnio appears to be the most accurate. however, i read the complications are great....

 

good luck! I am a GS and would do a perternity test without thinking twice if my IPs wanted it. I can understand where you are coming from

 

Thanks and from we have read the amino or blood tests is about 600, and the DRs fees is apprx the same….total amino fee is 1200 and the blood is the same our area of concern is w the accuracy of the blood test… false positive results….

 

yaniquebec

2 babies will die for every 100 tested. In my opinion not worth it....what if the test show that it is IF baby but she lose it???

 

You might want to do some more research before stating extremely false numbers. Regarding your what if see above comment

 

4ofmyown

I would be pretty upset if my IP's accused me of being pregnant with the wrong baby.

I hope you all can work through this.

 

We are accusing… just want to be sure we are getting what we agreed upon… we are only gathering info

 

texsurromom

 

I would avoid either one of the amnio or CVS if at all possible and try and go the blood draw route. I know it might sound offensive to some but I completely understand where you are coming from... sure there has to be a level of trust there but also you have to protect yourself and make sure there are no doubts. I do hope that your surrogate is OK with this and that everything goes smoothly for you!

 

Thanks for understand and we also are hoping the blood test works as well…

 

possibilities

 

GREAT SITE

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We are glad you can understand our concern, which at this point we are not saying we are concerned just trying to gather as much info as possible on amino, CVS and blood test.

 

If you aren't concerned, why are you here asking these questions, instead of having faith and trust in your surrogate?

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.

You might want to do some more research before stating extremely false numbers. Regarding your what if see above comment

I find your tone very offensive (in more than only that reply) Those were exact numbers in certain studies I have seen. They are a bit outdated I will conceed but no need to insult the poster! I would appreciate if you would share your source of stats because i'm always looking for more accurate researches and data about everything concerning pg and IVF.

 

As we wrote before if our surrogate was against the idea we would put up a red flag….

I would be against it, simply because i do not feel it is worth risking a pregnancy at this point, not because I would be affraid "of what you could discover!!!"

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I think that they have every right to a paternity test if it is in the contract. If there is nothing to hide what is the problem?

 

I can see there side of this. this i a huge finacial burden to the IP's I would happily do the amnio or blood for my IP's. I fail to understand that is there is nothing to hide what the issue would be? It is there child, if they choose to take on the risks, that is there choice. The risks are minimal from the stats at the atlanta clinic. we take risks everyday that we carry the babies that we do.

I think they have the right to have the testing done, if I were the IP's I would have wanted the test.

 

good luck~!

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I am the TS and if my IFs questioned MY honesty to them, well then I would question their trust in me. We got to know each other for a long time and a friendship/trust was built. If all of a suddened they tried to use some BS excuse that they had the RIGHT to a DNA test then I would say YES you do, AFTER the delivery and if you are that concerned about it, the baby will stay with me till you have your proof. My IFs trust me though and they know I would have NEVER done anything to jepordise the chance to have their own biological baby. However, we didnt' jump into anything and we made sure we had IUI's done by an RE who would be able to stipulate that I was inseminated with my IFs sperm and that would go onto all court documents. They get the baby period.

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