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TxGrL1679

New to TS and emotions are on a roller coaster!

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TxGrL1679    0

I'm thrilled after TTC with PCOS for 3 1/2 yrs and 1 devistating M/C to be starting a new journey with my angel of a best friend, she is going to be our TS. But with this wonderful decision, comes, a roller coaster of emmotions...

 

We've talked about everything, she's not doing this for compensation, however we are going to buy/pay for whatever we can so that they arent out b/c of us...

 

I'd like to get feedback on how you handle the emotions at birth, we plan to have a c-section as that's what she's had 2x's before...she dosent worry about a bonding issue, but she has expressed that she'd rather us not "be all about the baby" when we visit each other just to ensure that her 3 & 1 yr old dont get confused etc...she dosent want anything to "change" between us like all the sudden being together everyday, where before that didnt happen and then after the baby is here it stop, b/c that would confuse the 3yr old which is our goddaughter and i do understand that b/c we are attached at the hip when we are together...any advise to both of us on how to handle the roller coaster of emotions?

 

Thanks! Melissa :icon_blue_babydust:

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Shauna    3

First off, I do suggest getting some councelling/psych evaluation before going into this together. Secondly, get yourselves each a lawyer (which you as the IP will pay for) Find someone who is well versed in surrogacy, and have them draw up contracts for you guys so everyone is protected. Or you can draw up your own contracts and have the lawyer go over it with you. Regardless of doing this with your friend, you still want to protect everyone involved.

 

As for handling the emotions involved at birth, of course there is going to be ups and downs. The best I can say is let her have some alone time with the baby before you all leave the hospital together. I think that is important, considering that she has carried the baby for 9 months, and you are getting a life time with the baby. Just be there for her. If you guys have a great friendship now visiting each other, talking on the phone, exchanging emails, don't let that change after the baby comes either.

 

It is best to discuss before hand what you both expect out of this before, during, and afterwards so nothing unexpectedly comes up and feelings get hurt on either side. Sometimes people rush into things way to quickly with the excitement of it all without thinking things totally through. Make sure that everyone is fully on board and comfortable with this.

 

Also, get all your DHs testing done before hand, semen count, STD testing, and have her get her testing done as well, and then she can start tracking her ovulation by using OPKs.

 

Good luck, and I wish you guys the best.

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