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QueenDawn

Would you Allow this?

Would you allow your 19 year old son to sleep with his 17 year old girl friend in his bed with the door shut every weekend in YOUR house even when there is another young impressionable boy living in the house??  

209 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you allow your 19 year old son to sleep with his 17 year old girl friend in his bed with the door shut every weekend in YOUR house even when there is another young impressionable boy living in the house??

    • YES absolutely!
      10
    • No, No way!
      115
    • Maybe
      11
    • No girlfriend/boyfriend sleep over's in my house ever!
      65
    • Yes, if there wasnt another impressionable child in the house.
      7
    • Depends on if other parents are allowing there kids to do it.
      1


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Daffodil    0

Come on! Trust is fundamental in the establishment of one's identity. Its more a matter of education and instilling awareness, conscience and maturity in one,s children, proportionate with their age.

 

 

 

Besides, its only in our super individualistic culture that young adults move out. Latin people will often have their daugters or sons partners/husband live under their roof with them. Extended families used to be super common at the beginning of last century. I have an armenian friend who bought a huge house for him, his parents and grand parents and he is expected to have his future wife move in.

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TXGS    0
Come on! Trust is fundamental in the establishment of one's identity. Its more a matter of education and instilling awareness, conscience and maturity in one,s children, proportionate with their age.

 

 

 

Besides, its only in our super individualistic culture that young adults move out. Latin people will often have their daugters or sons partners/husband live under their roof with them. Extended families used to be super common at the beginning of last century. I have an armenian friend who bought a huge house for him, his parents and grand parents and he is expected to have his future wife move in.

143973[/snapback]

 

Trust is earned. The same cultures you speak of that have extended family? Most have the married only rule like most of us do. My children can have sex in my home...when they are married!

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Guest Shanna   
Guest Shanna

I had to say Yes to this one...

 

When I was younger and only engaged to my now ex husband his mother was having one of his younger cousins over (10ish) and she told us that while the cousin was there we couldn't share the same bed because she was impressionable. We told her to go screw and proceeded to rent a hotel room for the two nights. We came back and visited during the day...

 

So what is worse, allowing them to do it and make it so it's not a big deal (just ask them to keep it quite) or have them do it anyways and make a bigger fuss over it so it's more noticable to the impressionable children!?

 

I say just let them do it, they are of legal age.

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texsurromom    0

Not no but heck fire and damnation no!! :)

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2girls4me    0

You got mad and mouthed off b/c you couldn't screw in her house?

 

Did I read that right?????

 

So, I should just shut up in MY OWN HOME and let people do what they want against my wishes just so they won't act like bratty 4 year olds?

That I should pander to two *adults* who don't have enough self control to lay off for 2 nights? :theeye:

 

OMG if that isn't enough proof to be DAMN sure you are not mature enough for an adult relationship.....anyone with the balls to disrespect ME and my hospitality are welcome to go elsewhere! :dontknowsmilie:

 

I would be ashamed to have a child (esp who was an *adult*) or ANY guests behave in that manner towards me. :omg:

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Guest Shanna   
Guest Shanna

I didn't say I was proud of what I did when I was 19...and obviously that relationship wasn't the greatest thing in the world. I was the one who suggested we stay else where just so he was stop screaming at her and calling her names.

 

He did the actually mouthing off so I didn't have too, that and we weren't just constantly having sex. Even if we swore not to bump and grind she didn't want us in the same room because engaged wasn't close enough to being married for a ten year old.

 

My point was more that even if you don't let them do it there, they are going to find other ways around you and it really doesn't effect the younger ones if you don't make a fuse about it in front of them. Most of the time it goes right over their heads...and if it doesn't what's the worst that can happen when they are 19 they have their girlfriend over. If your okay with it...no big.

But that's me.

 

 

((By the way I left him because he was a control selfish asshole and had I had the sense to control my horomones I could have told that by the way he treated him mother, who just stood there and took it from him and his father.))

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QueenDawn    0

Well at the time my brother was pf age but the girlfriend was NOT. And the impresionable younger child was 17 at the time and was a virgin.

 

NOW my brother and his girlfriend are of age and they live together. April will be a year ( that they have been living together) and guess what? All the screwing in the world with no bitching about it wasn't worth it because my brother is leaving her at the end of this month because he hates the responsibility along with not being able to really afford it with going to college. Not to mention he said he was sick of taking care of her all the time when she could take care of herself. LOL So me and my mom were talking and I said that he moved out do they could have sex and now that it's not new anymore they are done. Oh well.

 

 

But I will never allow sex in my house unless they are older then 21 and or married. That is just the way me and my DH see it.

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Guest Melia   
Guest Melia

Thanks for your help in this question. My mom wanted me to ask this because she has my 19 and 16 year old brother's still living with her and my Dad. My 19 year old is dating this 17 year old immature girl and wants her to spend the night in his bed every weekend and sees nothing wrong with it. My mom says no way! It has caused a huge fight in the family so she wanted me to ask you all how you all feel about it with your children when they grow up and start dating.

 

Thanks so much!

 

She's not even legal. Is he familiar with statutory (sp) rape?

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Guest Chrisandbethsmom   
Guest Chrisandbethsmom

Latin people will often have their daugters or sons partners/husband live under their roof with them. Extended families used to be super common at the beginning of last century. I have an armenian friend who bought a huge house for him, his parents and grand parents and he is expected to have his future wife move in.

 

 

This is exactally what happened in my situation. While my DH and I were dating I would spend the night at his house every once in awhile (I live about an hour away from him) and then I got pregnant. (I was 20 he was 18)

 

My father would NEVER have let a boy stay the night with me under his roof and when he found out I was pregnant his exact words were "I knew this was going to happen, you were spending the night at his house."

 

His family never had a problem with me, his mother told him to ask me to move in!!! He was still living with his family and she would ask him where I was if I wasn't there one night. She treated me like a daughter well before we were married.

 

The only reason we moved out was because the house wasn't big enough for us AND our DS who was just born at the time.

 

If his family could have had us live there they would.

 

Just a note: his family is hispanic (Salvadorian) Mine~White

 

Completely different upbringings and beliefs about gf/bf's staying over.

I personally would not let my son/daughter have their bf/gf stay the night....Fiance' or spouse....that's a different story.

 

JMO

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QueenDawn    0

Well gladly he moved out then 1 year later realized that it was the wrong thing to do and moved back in with my parents. She was imancipated so the statatory rape didnt apply. Anyway they were "in love" so to speak but no longer. Tis was posted a while back and so much has changed. LOL

 

Kids!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH

 

oh and just so you now I would never allow that either. I mean never and I have 4 boys! :dontknowsmilie:

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Guest Chrisandbethsmom   
Guest Chrisandbethsmom

My DH said he would allow our DS to have his gf stay over but DD could never have boys even in her room!!!

:angry3::bash:

 

It burns me up that he still believes in a complete double standard!! :confused:

When I asked him why DS could do it but DD couldn't (even though I wouldn't allow it for EITHER!!)?

He said "Because Christopher is a boy." point blank, end of discussion. WHAT A P.I.T.A!!!!

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jens_GS    0

I was engaged at 17 and married at 19. I would say it depends on the people involved. We never slept at my parents house. When we vacationed in the summer we did stay in the same room at my parents rental unit. And I did stay overnight at Paul's Mom's house.

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My parents would have NEVER allowed this. My now MIL did allow this and she did not care. I really think that it is different when the parents are the boys parents. My Dad would have been like the dad on Guess Who...he would have been sleeping on the sofa bed next to any male that slept over!!! :dontknowsmilie:

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Baby*Baker    0

I said Maybe...only because it truly would depend on the situation for me. In the specific situation you posted...no...I don't think it's right. Your mom laid down a rule and it wasn't respected. Simple as that.

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