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Sarah

My final surrobaby is here

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Sarah    1

I had been having contractions through the night on Thursday but nothing in a serious pattern. On Friday morning they had settled into a pattern of about 10 minutes apart so we got ready to go to the parents' so that we could labor at home with them for a while before heading in. We got there and the contractions were already 4 minutes apart so we decided to just come in to be checked. When we got here I was 4cm, we spent the next 2 hours walking and bouncing on the ball, got checked again and I was a 5. At this point I decided to get an epidural because I knew that the baby was in a "bad" position, something I had been working to fix all week, so we would be laboring for hours trying to fix it.

 

After getting the epidural I dilated to 10cm within 2 hours and was ready to push. I pushed for 2 hours and then decided to try side lying to get her into a new position. After resting for about 30 minutes I went back to pushing and had pushed for another 2 hours before we finally started seeing her actually move down and we thought she had re-positioned herself finally. So, after 6 hours of pushing they finally called in the doctor to get things ready but right as they did, something went wrong.

 

The doctor came in as the baby had a heart deceleration (her second, she had one much earlier and recovered right away) and as she had her decel I started feeling very sick, suddenly I went from being "gung-ho" on pushing and getting her out to being unable to move at all. They rolled me from side-to-side to get her heart rate back up but it wasn't working. They placed an internal monitor on her head to check that they had her pulse right and declared that we needed to go for an emergency c-section. I knew something was very, very wrong, I was apologizing to everyone and then begging the doctor not to let me die.

 

They got me to the c-section room and DH was going to come in with me and they decided that he couldn't. I couldn't move at all, I just kept asking the anesthesia guy to save me and the baby. He put me to sleep completely. They pulled the baby out and she was limp and not breathing. They pulled my uterus out and found a giant puddle of blood, it turns out that it had split up the back. I ended up with a hysterectomy (they left my ovaries) and needed 7 pints of blood, your body holds 5 from what I have been told, so my entire circulatory system was drained of it's blood. Poor DH stood outside of the operating room for 4 hours watching them run in and out with blood, because they ran out in the actual operating room, and machines but no one would tell him anything about what was going on because they weren't sure at that point.

 

So, there you have it, my birth story. The baby is (perfectly) healthy and I am too, and I couldn't be more thankful that we both are... this isn't the way that these stories usually end. I have had 4 doctors come up just to see me and tell me how shocked they are that we did so well, even the anesthesiologist came to see us so that he could tell me how awful it was to hear me say "don't let us die." It's been a crazy ride, I tell ya. Honest to goodness, I felt it happening, I knew the second that the baby had her decel that we weren't going to make it. I could feel us dying. Now losing my uterus is honestly a bit easier because when it is a choice between that and my life... easy choice.

 

Today I am feeling really sad. I had planned another journey with my FIF's to complete their family and now that cannot happen... I feel like my dreams are dead and I don't know what the heck to do with myself now. The sadness will pass with the hormones, I am sure. I have always been a huge advocate of saying if you aren't done with your own family you shouldn't be a surrogate, now I am the living proof. I am thankful that we were happy with our own family or I cannot imagine how this would be for me.

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Sarah,

I am so glad that you and the baby made it through such a tramatic ordeal! How scary for everyone involved. Thanks for sharing your story!!

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traci72    202

Oh Sarah, so many prayers, hugs and much love being sent to you. Praise the Lord that you both are alive and will mend. I can't even begin to imagine how scary that had to have been, and my heart breaks for your poor DH to have to stand there, watching all of this, and not knowing what was going on or if you would survive. Thank you so very much for sharing this story w/us as I know it had to be difficult. Take some time for yourself, seek out counseling if available, talk to other who have had similar experiences, come here to cry, yell, vent, whatever you need to do. You have so much knowledge and experience, you'd make a great resource and mentor to other surrogates, and I hope that you'll stick around.

 

I have always been a huge advocate of saying if you aren't done with your own family you shouldn't be a surrogate, now I am the living proof. I am thankful that we were happy with our own family or I cannot imagine how this would be for me.

 

I don't think this can possibly be shared or reiterated too many times. Newbies come on here and other sites thinking it'll never happen to them or not paying any attention to what the real risks can be. They get all pissy when reality is shared w/them because they don't want to hear it. Or they think it's not a big deal if they want to have more kids some day.

 

Damn it people, it can and DOES happen!! Sarah very well could have died! While I would have felt horrible if the baby died, I would have felt worse at losing Sarah. This is a grown woman w/a family and DH of her own that would have been left w/out their mother or wife. Sarah has been around for sometime and knows the risks. She has never taken this path lightly and has put much time, effort and research into this. Just imagine someone coming in w/out even half of the knowledge that she does and having this happen? Especially after people tried to bring these possiblities up?

 

I'm so sorry this all happened, Sarah, but I am truly thankful that you are still here w/us and that you were able to bless so many w/the gift of a family. You are an incredible woman and just such an amazing gift to all of us.

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I am so glad that you shared this! It really reconfirms that I knew I was done having children of my own before starting my surrogacy journey. My heart aches that you went through such an ordeal and I am so grateful to hear that you are doing okay and so is baby. Your poor husband I cannot imagine how difficult it was for him to see that! Big hugs! I am wishing you an easy recovery!

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DragonDad    15

Sarah

 

I am so glad that you and the baby made it through that traumatic ordeal -

I am so sorry for your loss - I truly commend your courage and strength of character.

 

Wow --

 

Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Please stay strong

 

Keeping you in my thoughts

 

-DD

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itsonlyk    65

I do not know you, but my heart breaks a little for you and the loss that you are experiencing. So very glad you & the baby are alive and I hope that time will heal your wounds.

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SingleDad1    1

Sarah, so glad that you are ok and the baby. Sending you my prayers. Keep strong

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Lilly    16

Keeping you all in my thoughts. Happy that you and the baby are ok but so sorry that it happened this way. xx

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Wow how intense, I am glad you both are okay and that you are seeing the positive. I will keep you in my thoughts!

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Stork    0

How frightning. Im so glad everything turned out good and everyone is healthy. Your poor hubby must have been shaking with nerves :-(

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Amaraine    0

Oh my goodness, Sarah - I am so sorry for what you had to go through! How incredibly scary for all of you - thank goodness you and the baby are doing so well now.

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Charbearx3    0

What an amazing story!! I am so sorry that it happened that way but I'm so thankful that you and baby are OK! Your poor DH~ I can't even imagine!

I hope every new person who comes here can read your story and understand they really do need to be done with their family. I talk to so many ladies who tell me "well we might want more". The entire conversation changes at that point.

 

Sarah, I'm so happy your still here with us! And I know you feel bad not being able to carry for your couple again, I know you will find comfort. Were all here for you!!

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Sarah    1

I hope that everyone who has read this story will pass it on to any newcomers who aren't sure they are done with their own family. Please feel free to use my name in any thread, it is so important.

 

I am doing really well today, I talked to my FIF's and they are being beyond amazing about this whole thing, they are so loving and kind. I don't know what I would do without them. My IP's from this time are being wonderful too, luckily they live 5 minutes from us, so we plan to be around the baby a lot and they are being so open and loving too. Everything really is going to be ok, I can see that, and I am glad.

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