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Lola

egg donation in 43 is it possible?

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HelHello! I am 43 years old. My husband and I have been married for 15 years, 12 out of them we are fighting against my infertility. Of course we tried to get pregnant naturally but it didn’t bring any results. For all these years I have made a lot: dozens of examinations, hundreds of analysis, great number of treatment attempts. After all my infirmity’s reason was determined – complete tubal obstruction. A doctor at once advised us to do Ivf. First of all tubal infertility has already indication for Ivf and secondly I have already lost a lot of time there was no reason fill in time. We have done 1 iui and 3 ivf on my own eggs. Before I thought that Ivf is able to help everyone but I was mistaken. The effectiveness is not so high it’s about one out of 3 patients become pregnant but I took the chance. All my hopes back then were put on Ivf but embryo not survived. The reason was endometriosis. So I did laparoscopy to get rid of endometriosis and biopsy was performed in order to obtain a tissue diagnostic. Now everything is ok but after 4 failed attempts with my own eggs the doctors advise us try on donor eggs. As I’ve told I’m 43 and not in every clinic it’s allowed to do egg donation over 40 and moreover not everywhere using donor eggs consider to be legal . What should I do? Any advice?


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I think I'm understanding you, though the title is a bit misleading, as it reads as if you want to be an egg donor, not potentially needing an ED. First, IVF is completely a crap shoot, meaning that there is no guarantees at all, that it will work. As wonderful as science is, it's still so far from perfect, which sucks when trying to build your family. You can have seemingly perfect looking embryos, or even "normal" tested embryos, and the transfers fail. (testing is limited to a very small number of disorders and can miss a LOT of things that would hamper a viable pg) Or you could have very poor looking embryos that turn into the most beautiful babies. You just never know.

 

I have known "older" IM's, in their mid-late 40's that have been able to use their own eggs, but not many. Whether you choose to use an ED or not, it has to be when you are ready and not when you are still grappling w/the fresh emotions. Using an ED doesn't mean that the baby is any less your baby. Genetic relationship is "nice", but not necessary to love and accept your child. I have a stepdad that is my "DAD" so much more so than my bio-father ever was. I couldn't have asked for a better father in my life than him. My oldest is not the biological child of my DH (who did adopt him when he was 6, but was there from the time my oldest was a baby) and they are no less father and son than had my DH contributed the sperm.

 

If the RE is telling you that they have found the reasons why you couldn't sustain a pg and have corrected it, but now it's looking like embryo issues (which from your post, it sounds like this is what the issue is), I think looking into an ED is a viable option to consider. You can look for an ED that looks more physically like you, so that the child might look a bit like you as well, and you also don't have to tell anyone otherwise. Having to choose to use an ED for some, is not an easy choice, and I can appreciate that. Out of the options there are out there, I would say this is a less expensive option.

 

I'm sure you'll get more feedback, but whatever you decide, we're here.

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Does the clinic you have been seeing work with donor eggs?

 

If they cannot recommend a possible donor for you, there are many clinics who do. And there are agencies specifically designed for matching egg donors with potential parents.

 

I think you have a lot of choices.

 

As far as legality, where are you located?

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I’m very grateful for your reply. You story cheers me up! I think you are right sometimes it’s not important who your biological parents are if your stepmom or dad treats you like a native and vice versa. If I can’t give a birth to my own child I should all the others opportunities. My dearest wish is to become a mother and even if this baby is not genetically connected to me I will give her or him all my mother’s love and tenderness. I think my husband and I should find a clinic with good donor database in order to have possibility to choose the most suitable donor.

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Does the clinic you have been seeing work with donor eggs?

 

If they cannot recommend a possible donor for you, there are many clinics who do. And there are agencies specifically designed for matching egg donors with potential parents.

 

I think you have a lot of choices.

 

As far as legality, where are you located?

Unfortunately my clinic doesn’t work with donor eggs. My GP advised us to go to Denmark but their clinic refused treatment because of my age. That’s why now we are seeking for a new clinic. We are from Norway.

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I wish you the best.

 

This forum is predominantly about the United States, so I don't know what direction to suggest for you. But I know using an egg donor is possible!

 

:xoxo:

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I wish you the best.

 

This forum is predominantly about the United States, so I don't know what direction to suggest for you. But I know using an egg donor is possible!

 

:xoxo:

Thank you i hope for the best:)

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That's too bad that your age of only 43 is standing in your way as that is pretty young in terms of motherhood when turning to IVF. The moms that I have carried for have been 41, 55, 47, and 39. Three of them used donor eggs. Good luck to you.

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That's too bad that your age of only 43 is standing in your way as that is pretty young in terms of motherhood when turning to IVF. The moms that I have carried for have been 41, 55, 47, and 39. Three of them used donor eggs. Good luck to you.

Lucky they are. I also can use donor eggs but unfortunately not in my country. I have a hope to do this abroad.

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Hi Lola,

Have you looked into IVF in Prague? They have a good program there. If you are open to the US, there are many clinics here who do not have that low of a age limit.

My current IM is 52, I am 43 (surrogate), and the egg donor was 25. LOL

Don't give up. ;)

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