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EB123

Traditional surrogate with donor sperm

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EB123    0

Has anyone here been a traditional surrogate who used donor sperm? Or has anyone been blessed with a traditional surrogate who used donor sperm? We could not afford to use an agency. I don't think I'd want a family member or close friend to be our surrogate. (Though I know if we found a surrogate we would love her like family.) Is it possible for us to find a woman who would be a traditional surrogate using donor sperm without paying expensive agency fees? Are there women out there who do this out of the kindness of their hearts? Of course we would pay for the insemination and medical bills. And compensation for doing this for us. But we could never afford what I see traditional surrogacy usually costs. It hurts so badly to think I'll never be a mother. Thank you for reading and for any responses.

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traci72    202

I don't know that we have any on the boards that are active right now, that have gone through this, though I know that we have in the past. The problem is that most states consider this to be a planned adoption, when there is no genetic tie between any of the IP's and baby. You would want to speak to an ART attorney in your state for further clarification in how this would be viewed/handled before looking to move forward. 

 

There are altruistic surrogates out there, but keep in mind, even if you find a no-comp surrogate, you are looking at many ten's of thousands of $$$ still. There are legal costs (contracts as well as parentage and each party, the IP's and the surrogate, require their own attorney), lost wages, insurance or if she has surrogate friendly insurance, you still have co-pays/deductibles/etc, child care, potential housekeeping, the cost of the procedure and if you need a sperm donor, any/all associated costs that go w/that, maternity clothes, psych evals for all parties, FDA medical screening, having the potential surrogates OB records reviewed to make sure she meets the requirements, etc. There are always ways to find to reduce costs....find a SAHM w/no lost wages, a SAHM w/older children and there are no child care costs, a no-comp or low-comp surrogate, one w/great surro-friendly insurance w/low co-pays and deductibles, but it's still going to be roughly $40-60K, if all goes perfectly.

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EB123    0

Thank you for your response Traci. Do you know where I might find an altruistic surrogate? Thanks again. Erin

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traci72    202

Starting w/asking family and friends is the best way. While there may not be someone that's qualified to be a surrogate, there might be. Sometimes family/friends haven't ever thought about this, but this sparks their thinking and they offer themselves. Other times family/friends might have already thought about this for you, but weren't sure how to bring it up. If there are no family/friends that are willing or qualified to do so, there are Classified's on sites such as this one or on SMO (another dedicated surrogacy site) as well as matching groups on FB. There are some that are specifically for low/no comp surrogates too.

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