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Rose1

Single IP sharing at work

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Rose1    0

As a single Intended parent and now firmly in process, was wondering how did some share at work. Do you share the whole story, why or just say you have kids? My work is rather formal and serious, so wondering if there are others in serious/very conservative jobs that had to share this unconventional way to reach our dreams?

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traci72    202

Hopefully DragonDad will pop in and can share his experience. While he's not a single IP, he does work in a somewhat "formal" job and has been through this multiple times. He would definitely have some good insight into this.

 

Personally, I don't think that it's anyone's business to know all or even any details if you don't want to share them. IMO, it's rude to ask personal questions when it comes to family building, and if someone is going to step over that line, they should be prepared to have just as personal questions asked of them right back. Surrogacy is very personal and for some, very difficult to understand. Unless absolutely necessary, I wouldn't share more than necessary in explaining it, unless you have a closer relationship w/a given person and are comfortable w/it. Pretty sure you haven't been digging into your co-workers lives about how and when they are adding children, so it shouldn't be any different for you.

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beachalice    23

:hello2:

I would say it's entirely up to you and the rapport you have with your colleagues. 

My IPs are not single, but they do plan on utilizing FMLA time when baby comes so they are preparing for telling their employers.  Their close family and friends know their story so it was joyful for them to announce to their close circle.  They figure everyone else can find out along the way or not know - not really anyone's business is their point of view. 

Shout it from the mountaintops and keep ultrasound photos on your desk, or keep it reserved for only those who need to know.  It's up to you. Everyone's personality and comfort zone are different. 

Best wishes!!

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Rose1    0

Thanks. It took a while for me , but just started the initial process, surrogate not pregnant yet, planning second transfer. But then the whole office thing stuck me, it is a very family oriented place and formal. Me being single seems to invite a lot of questions and now me having a baby through non conventional means I am sure will bring in all the folks. I will be quite, but then suddenly vacation, kid is sick will have to explain-though that is about a year away.

Convincing my family was a gargantuan task in itself!

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beachalice    23

Good for you.  Whatever works for you is all that matters.

I can relate a tiny bit in a small way. I'm a divorced mama in a small rural town in the bible belt.  It's quite scandalous.  But I don't care about anyone's judgement.  Their opinions don't change who I am.  When people ask about my non-existent husband, I say I'm single by choice. I don't need to be pitied nor have I earned a scarlet letter.  It's my choice to raise my children alone.  However, I don't have to deal with ignorance in the workplace on a daily basis so only you know how best to handle that environment.

I will be announcing my surrogacy pregnancy in a positive way that lets others know I am excited for my IPs (while minimizing the rumors down about me because I need to maintain my job).

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