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JJP0813

Couple seeking affortable surrogacy clinic in ny area

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JJP0813    0

Hello Everyone,

I am new to the forum and wanted to ask a few questions about surrogacy in/around NY area. A little bit about our situation, Me and my wife have been married for 6 years and together for 12. We had always put off children because I wanted her to finish her masters and I wanted to save for a house to raise our children in. Five years ago my wife began feeling exhausted and out of breath doing normal everyday duties, because of her age (28 at the time) many healthcare professionals stated it was all mental and maybe needed rest and or vitamins. Three years ago we met with an amazing pulmonary specialist who diagnosed her with Pulmonary Hypertension which is a disease that affects the lungs and has a very high mortality rate. Luckily we caught it early on and with the medication she is currently on it's allowing her to resume daily activities, she still has difficulties walking long distances or up stairs but she is able to cope. The down side of pulmonary hypertension and the medication is my wife will never be able to carry children safely, She would be risking her health and the health of our fetus. I am a NYC Firefighter and unfortunately my insurance does not cover surrogacy in NY nor is surrogacy legal in NY so we were left with paying out of pocket to create our own embryos (20k). We are looking for affordable surrogacy agencies in our area. I have looked into three and they all range between 80-100k with our own embryo. I understand this will be an expensive journey but I would like to keep the mental and financial burden to a minimum especially for my beautiful wife. I have also looked into overseas surrogacy in Ukraine but still need more information and feedback. Please Help

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traci72    202

Welcome to the Forums. While I know that it's a hard thing to learn (not being able or safe to carry the pg), it's wonderful that it was discovered and dx now vs during a pg. 

 

A couple of things. #1 is that there is, unfortunately, nothing inexpensive about surrogacy. From creating the embryos to the IVF process and meds to the attorneys to parentage and lastly a surrogate's comp (which will often be one of the lower costs incurred), it just adds up. Hopefully one day, insurance companies will wake up and start making IVF coverage mandatory, or at least more widely available and affordable.

#2...surrogacy is still possible in NY, however COMPENSATED surrogacy is not allowed. There are enough legal risk though regarding contracts, that most IP's do not choose to pursue surrogacy in NY, but it has been done.

 

#3...The numbers you put out there...$80-100k are rough estimates of the TOTAL cost....that's agency fees, the RE/clinic and IVF + meds, all screenings/psych evals/med testing/insurance/co-pays/birth, contracts, parentage (PBO or post-birth) and the surrogate's comp. There are many mitigating factors in the overall cost, such as an agency w/a lower agency fee, going independent, a lower comp surrogate, a family member/friend willing to do no comp, a successful 1st transfer, etc. My 1st IP's spent less than $65k and that included the agency fee and that our 1st transfer took. I have IP friends that have been trying for years and have spent more than $150k and still hoping for their baby. I also have IP friends that did several years worth of research to prepare for going indy, found a lower comp surrogate, had luck the 1st time and spent less than $50k for everything. You also don't have to use an agency that is more local to you. You can use any agency in the US, and depending on what they offer, you can find agency fees ranging from a couple of thousand $$ up to $35+k. Unfortunately you can't know going into this, just how much it will cost in the end as there are just too many variables.

 

#4...You will not see support for attempting to save a few bucks, by going to any foreign country. It will cost you substantially more $$$ than you think and you are putting your child in both a huge legally precarious position as well as medically/health wise. There are zero legal protections in those countries, despite the claims of the opposite. I've watched more people have to pay fines and bribes to try and get their children out of Mexico, Ukraine, Thailand, etc, and some fight for more than a YEAR to get their child out. I've watched a dear friend whose twins were born to a surrogate in India have one of them die due to the conditions and medical care, then cremated while the parents were lied to about where his body was, tried to pass off WOOD ASHES for that of their dead child, then hold both the remaining live baby AND the fake ashes hostage until they paid thousands of $$$ more. They have spent the last several years being harassed and threatened by the "experts" that were supposed to help protect them in doing an international surrogacy. 

 

Where you choose to have your child born is one of the very 1st important decisions that you can make for them, and to potentially choose their legal status to save a few bucks is huge. Staying in the US honestly, is safest for you and the baby (or if you were able to find a surrogate in Canada, but that it more challenging just because of their laws), doing TONS of research of everything surrogacy related, find a lower comp surrogate (hopefully w/surro-friendly insurance and potentially an experienced surrogate that is very familiar w/surrogacy), you could save the agency fee at least and potentially stay well below that $80k.

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JJP0813    0

Hello Traci, 

Thank you for all the information! The wife and I have been torn about going to Kiev, Ukraine. We have heard of a few agencies that have been around for 20yrs but we rather stay local where we can monitor our babies progress. Would you happen to know of any agencies that are affordable with great reviews? We feel as tho every time we type in affordable surrogacy agencies into Google we always get overseas or the same 1 or 2 agencies. Either Circle or world wide surrogacy, we are willing to travel if that will help our chances. I am afraid of the whole process and forgetting sonething.. think an agency doing everything is the way to go.

 

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traci72    202

Those are 2 out of the top maybe 5-6 of the MOST expensive agencies, hands down. That's not to say that they are not good agencies by any means, but they are way up there. 

 

I'm going to try and share a few that are lower cost. This 1st one, I know the owner and feel you would be in good hands w/her agency at least.

http://www.familymakerssurrogacy.com/about-intended-parents

 

3 Sisters is also good....

https://www.3sisterssurrogacy.com/3-sisters-surrogacy-fees/

 

http://www.heartlandsurrogacy.com/intended-parents/illinois-affordable-surrogacy/

 

http://www.parentingpartners.net/

 

http://www.angelmatcher.com/projected_surrogacy_costs

 

 

 

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JJP0813    0

Traci,

Thank you so much for the information. I have been in contact with Ashlee and she is making the process very easy to understand. I am so glad asked for help on this forum.

Julio

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traci72    202

I'm so, so happy you reached out to her!! I've known her a few years now and have nothing but respect for her. You are in amazing hands w/her.

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