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Posted by 4ofmyown  , 21 July 2006 - 05:44 PM

I have not updated in so long.

July 4th, I started to miscarry......which is a good thing. I was so nervous about the upcoming D&C and so a natural miscarriage was a good thing.

My IF's thought about a lot of things in the past month and have decided that they really do want to continue and we will be trying again in August.

Yippee! I am so happy that they want to keep trying. They will be the best daddies. :)/>

still nothing

Posted by 4ofmyown  , 01 July 2006 - 01:12 AM

This sucks. I have a D&C scheduled for the 18th of July! That is 5 full weeks after the embryo died. I am praying that my body will move things along sooner than later.

On another note, it is the Forth of July holiday and Doug gets a full week off of work! WHHOO HOO!!
So we are planning a camping trip for 2 days (tues & wed) and then the rest of the week work on getting a roof on our cabin.

My mom was here for a visit last week. It was a great time. She just pretty much hung out and it was really cool and laid back.

Well that is my lame update.

not this time

Posted by 4ofmyown  , 24 June 2006 - 03:05 AM

I was pregnant, for 6 whole weeks. Today we found out the baby stopped growing at 6w4d.
Right now I am sitting here waiting for something to happen. The doc said I can wait 4 more weeks for the embryo to pass but then I have to come in for a D&C.

I wonder why I am waiting. This baby has been dead for nearly 2 weeks now. Do I think some miracle will happen and change that fact? I should just get it over with so we can try again.

Finally, tears...........I have been so sad for this huge disappointment that my IF's are dealing with. I am sucking it all up. Put on a tough face for family. Dont let anyone know how much you are hurting. We knew it was coming but still clung to the thread of hope until the u/s today. I saw a tiny baby on the screen. It was beautiful but there was no life. It was the same as it was 10 days ago.

All we ever wanted was to make F & L daddies. They did not care how this baby came to be, they just wanted a child to love. All their hard work and money and dreams melted away when the sperm tank arrived thawed out 4 weeks ago. Now what?

We have a lot to talk about. I think they want to keep trying but we all must wait for me to heal and get back to normal.

I am glad I finally wrote this. I needed to get this out and talking about this stuff is just not me.
My IF's are the best ever. They are so kind and so generous. Why must it be such a long and difficult road to parenthood for them?

not june

Posted by 4ofmyown  , 24 June 2006 - 02:53 AM

seems there are issues with the FDA and Customs. The sperm shipment has been held up at customs for over a week now. The tank was good for 3 weeks, which ends Monday!!! I am freaking out! My IF's sent all their sperm as they were going to store it here to avoid paying $1500 everytime they had to ship it.
Now all their hopes and dreams are sitting on ice in the US customs......

I am ovulating right now! The shipment was supposed to be here Saturday! So, we will try again in July.

long weekend

Posted by 4ofmyown  , 31 May 2006 - 11:21 PM

Well it has been a very very busy and emotional week as you can tell.

We bought a house last month and this last weekend was moving weekend. I hate moving. We were with out our land line and internet for 4 whold days and it seems the whole world fell apart.

Monday at 2:30 I get a call on my cell phone, but there was no caller id and I was literally in the middle of moving a desk so I just let it go to voice mail. Again, at 4:30 I get a call, but I was not near the phone and it also went to voice mail.......finally at about 5pm, I had some time to check messsages. (i was actually in the bathroom ).....the first call was not good...
My brother, telling me that they had to take Dad to the hospital on Sunday night.
The next message was from my mom telling me it was urgent I call her or my brother.
I ran out of the bathroom, zipping up my pants with one hand, trying to dial the phone with the other.
My Dad has been feeling ill for a while, maybe a month, and finally called my brother for help sunday afternoon, he was admitted to the hospital and it was discovered that he had a bleeding ulcer and was bleeding internally, it was pretty bad. After the put a few staples in and got him stablized my brother was able to come back and visit iwth was around dinner time Sunday.
Dad was acting very strange at that time so my brother called for a nurse. The whole ICU staff eventually appeared to asses the situation. Since there was a few metal staples in his stomach, they could not do an MRI and instead had to do a CT scan because they suspected a stroke.
It was a stroke, it had hit the front part of the brain that effects personality and behavior. Dad was mostly sleeping and sedated because between the bleeding and the stroke there were no meds they could give. Stroke meds could cause massive bleeding, blood clot meds for the bleeding could cause another stroke.
That was all anyone knew on Monday night. It was a long night.

Early Tuesday morn, 7:30 am early, my cell phone rings.....naturally I am in panic mode. NO ONE calls that early! NO ONE! I immediatley assume the worst and Dad is going down hill fast. Thankfully it was just our dear GS friend Kristen telling me about Fred and Laurents dilema. (not that that was a good thing but better then hearing you dad might be dieing) After getting most of the sperm situation understandable and also talking with Fred by phone I got a call from my brother.

Dad was doing much better, they were going to move him from ICU to a private room and he was up walking and talking. Still a bit slow and slurry speech but feeling much better.

I still had no means off long distance communication as my cell phone is only allowed to make instate calls (cheap plan) so I had DH call the hospital and talk with Dad. It was nice to hear that DH was recognized and Dad still had his sence of humor.

Today at 10am, my brother called and told me that Dad was released today and is at home. I am so relieved to know he is okay.

Sometime living so far away is hard, all my family is in Montana.
Dad did have a stroke but a very minor one. He seems pretty much like normal now but has no memory of what happend. Things like this scare the crap out of you. I need to seriously re evaluate things and make preperations for possibly taking care of my parents as they age.
At 32, I did not expect this day to come so soon.

I also will make sure I call more often and tell EVERYONE i love them!


Posted by  , 04 May 2006 - 01:30 AM

Great news! IF's have been getting lots of sperm all froze and ready to ship. It will leave Belgium May 15th. I will do 2 ICI June 1st and 2nd. :banana:/> :Eggie:/> :banana:/> :Eggie:/> :banana:/> :Eggie:/> :banana:/> :Eggie:/>

well, this cycle was a bust

Posted by  , 20 April 2006 - 06:51 PM

I have spent the past few days thinking about what i am supposed to post. I was so disappointed when AF showed up.I just knew this cycle was gonna work and was totally thrown for a loop when it did not. How sad it was for everyone.My IF's took it rather well and after a few moments were talking about next time.They have to arrange for shippment of frozen from Belgium and they are sending a huge lot of samples so we will have to skip the May cycle and try again in June.The same day that news hit we were offered a house that we had been eyeballing for almost a year. It was up for sale again and the owner found us to ask if we were still interested. Of course we are, we had been upset for not taking the offer the first time around. Well, Tuesday we got our second chance. This time we were listening when fate was knocking on our door and answered! So, tonight we are signing the papers and we will take ownership June 1st!! I am very excited about that! :evilhpt:/>

My IF's are the best.

Posted by  , 13 April 2006 - 12:29 AM

We spent the past 10 days together and became like a big family. Tonight my IF's left to go back home to Belgium. We all are missing them already.Here is a picture of all of us. :crossfingers:/> I will be testing in 6 days. God that seems like forever! I need lots of baby dust! :icon_blue_babydust:/>


Posted by  , 08 April 2006 - 07:50 PM


Posted by  , 08 April 2006 - 07:48 PM

Well Yesterday was the last fertile day. We got in 5 good insems so now we just have to wait. :luck:/> My IF's are here until Wednesday. I will miss them very much. They are truely like family now. I cannot wait to announce a pregnancy. Please keep your fingers crossed for us. They so deserve this to work! :hugs:/> Last night they made us the most amazing Lasagna ever tasted! Real lasagna! and we have enough leftovers for 4 more meals! OMG, it was to die for good! :)/> Today we took them to drive on the frozen Lake. That was fun, we also watched the ice fishing and played in the open ice holes. Then we stopped by the Santa Clause House (gift store) and wandered around for about 1 hour looking at all the wonderful gifts. Tonight, we are eating out at the best (or should I say "only") chinese place in town. They love chinese as much as we do! :)/> I keep talking to my belly, telling it that we need a big healthy baby in there. I hope my body is listening! :luck:/> :icon_blue_babydust:/> :luck:/> :icon_blue_babydust:/> :luck:/> :icon_blue_babydust:/>


Posted by  , 08 April 2006 - 07:46 PM

Today was a great day. My IF's made a fabulous dinner for us, something Spanish with a lot of meat and seafood! Yummers!Today was also our first home-insem. Well, it was sort of embarassing for all of us but it all worked out. I am sure the rest of the week will be must easier. :haha:/>


Posted by  , 08 April 2006 - 07:45 PM

I really could not have asked for better IF's or IP's! :wub:/> Today they came over and we went to Walmart to buy L and hat (I told them to bring some as I could see from the pics that they both had shaved heads, but no, they did not listen to me! ) then they took me and my youngest two out to chili's for lunch. They also wanted to see the "Big American" cars so we went to the Dodge dealership to see the big new Magnums and the Mega Cab trucks! They were impressed! L even got the nerve to ride on our F-350 crew cab truck with my DH to the store and back :)/> Our lawyer called us and we talked about 2 things on the contract that were of possible concern and then he emailed us the contracts to sign. We all agreed everything was perfect and signed! You should have seen the look on F's face! Priceless, like he had just won the lottery! :banana:/> We start insems tomorrow and speaking of insems......while at Walmart we asked the Pharmacy lady for sterile cups......after she handed them to us along wiht a baby syringe she asked if we were doing a science project??? LOL.....sure, that is what we are doing :rolleyes:/> I made them my famous LUMPIA (phillipino eggrolls) and they loved it! Tomorrow I might WOW them with Taco night! :)/> Wednesday we are doing a big American BBQ by request and I am lucky enough to have Kristen living next door. So she is coming over also! It will be a blast. Burgers, Buffalo burgers, potato salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, chips, soda.........the works! :bliss:/> :bliss:/>

Meet IF's!

Posted by  , 02 April 2006 - 11:03 PM

:)/> So after 35 hours of travel and layovers my IF's arrived. They came in last night at 3am (sorry I could not meet them) and took a taxi to the hotel. They are staying about 5 minutes from me. They called this morning after they got some sleep. I must say they are 10x more handsome in person then in pictures! :wub:/> We went out for lunch (took 20 minutes to find a place with enough room for 8 on a busy sunday after church) and then helped them get a rental car. After that we just spent the afternoon together hanging out at my house with the family. We checked out all the photo albums (how embarassing!), the kids played chess with them and spent a lot of time talking, then we ate dinner. I sent them back to the hotel at 7pm cause I could tell they were exhausted. They are so funny and speak english very well. My kids were awesomely good and I was amazed at how fast my youngest 2 warmed right up to them. I just love these guys! My whole family thinks they are the best! They brought me enough belgium chocolate to last a year (or not :lovechoco:/> ) :bliss:/> :bliss:/> :bliss:/> :bliss:/> :bliss:/>

Almost time

Posted by  , 27 March 2006 - 02:36 PM

Guess who I talked to today??

Posted by  , 27 March 2006 - 06:23 AM

ETHAN! lol.... my first IM called up today to let Ethan "talk" to me! Oh, he sounds so sweet! He is almost 9 months old now and just babbling away. He also has the cutest laugh.Mom says he is about 22 pounds now and learning to stand with the help of the furniture. No crawling yet but he like to roll to get where he is going.We also talked a lot about life and family, it was very nice. She is a great lady. :)/> Yesterday we went to the end of season Hockey game, and what a great game it was! Ice Dogs won 1-0 and kicked some butt! They are in the playoff's this coming weekend with the team they just beat so it is bound to be a really rocking game!We got to watch the game with 1/2 the team, it was really cool. :woofreakinhoo:/> My IF's will be here in 6 days! I can hardly wait! I have to locate some cups and a syringe! Ugh, not enough time in the day anymore :banana:/> I have totally mind block as I have my finals in college due on Tuesday (30 hours from now)! Luckily I have most of it done, just need to finish up 2 short essays.My grades are outstanding, I am very proud of my self, I just want to shout if from the mountain tops and plaster my grades all over the boards for everyone to see but I also dont want to aprear to be bragging. I am so pleased with my self! This is my first time in college and I never in a million years thought I would be this good. Now my biggest challange is to keep up those grades.I will go to be now, 2am again.Good night
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