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not this time

Posted by 4ofmyown  , 24 June 2006 - 03:05 AM

I was pregnant, for 6 whole weeks. Today we found out the baby stopped growing at 6w4d.
Right now I am sitting here waiting for something to happen. The doc said I can wait 4 more weeks for the embryo to pass but then I have to come in for a D&C.

I wonder why I am waiting. This baby has been dead for nearly 2 weeks now. Do I think some miracle will happen and change that fact? I should just get it over with so we can try again.

Finally, tears...........I have been so sad for this huge disappointment that my IF's are dealing with. I am sucking it all up. Put on a tough face for family. Dont let anyone know how much you are hurting. We knew it was coming but still clung to the thread of hope until the u/s today. I saw a tiny baby on the screen. It was beautiful but there was no life. It was the same as it was 10 days ago.

All we ever wanted was to make F & L daddies. They did not care how this baby came to be, they just wanted a child to love. All their hard work and money and dreams melted away when the sperm tank arrived thawed out 4 weeks ago. Now what?

We have a lot to talk about. I think they want to keep trying but we all must wait for me to heal and get back to normal.

I am glad I finally wrote this. I needed to get this out and talking about this stuff is just not me.
My IF's are the best ever. They are so kind and so generous. Why must it be such a long and difficult road to parenthood for them?


1 Comments On This Entry

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ABCgs

25 June 2006 - 05:36 PM
:hugs:/> I am so sorry Tammy! I will pray that this next cycle is THE ONE!
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