Surrogacy Forum: Surrogate Mothers, Intended Parents and Egg Donors: Surrogacy Forum: Surrogate Mothers, Intended Parents and Egg Donors -> My4Girls&More's Blog

There have been some changes to the blog features here at AAS not allowing my friends and family to view my journal without being registered users sooo.....I've opened a new account. If you wanna keep tabs on my journey please visit http://theirbunmyoven.blogspot.com/

Thanks everyone!!

We are moving ahead finally after being stalled there for about 2 months. IPs attorney FINALLY has an agreement for us to review. My IF had a phone conference with their lawyer Monday and finalized some things and it has been sent to my attorney now for us to go over.

My lawyer is sending me a copy to review and get familiar with before our appointment next week one Tuesday (3/4). Hoping things go smoothly from here on out. I'm pretty sure I have one or two things to add to the contract that I don't think are there already. That will mean it has to go back to them for approval but I'm hoping it doesn't take to long to finish things up.

I'll have more to update next week. :cool:/>

Late update here but we didn't have our meeting with the lawyer on Wednesday (2/13) as planned.

All along we've been setting up appointments in hopes that things would be done on my IPs end of the agreement and each time we've scheduled prematurely. I guess the latest is they have a contract drawn up and in hand to review and met with their lawyer on Monday (2/18) to discuss any changes/concerns. We are pretty positive from there we are good to schedule an appointment but are thinking we may just wait until my lawyer has received it before we set anything up.

Seems like that is the best option since I'm getting frustrated with making appointments, Jason requesting time off work and I make arrangements for our kids and daycare kids for nothing. I know it will come together, just tired of waiting and the set backs.

IM emailed me the other day and she is anxious too. I think what is making me most anxious is although we never got an official timeline I've had it in my head for months that we'd be looking at a Feb/March transfer. Well here we are with half of February gone and nothing scheduled yet...ugh!! I really just want to get the show on the road!

I was checking out a due date calculator recently and if we have a successful first transfer between March 1 and the first week of April we'd have an EDD between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What a wonderful way to celebrate the holidays. If we wait any longer than April though they'll have themselves a 2009 baby.

Ok, that is it for now hopefully I'll have more to report soon.

Ugh, our appointment with the lawyer was rescheduled again. Guess IPs lawyer still is working on their agreement. Looks like well be taking care of this next Wednesday instead now (2/13). HURRY UP and WAIT ~ HURRY UP and WAIT ~ HURRY UP and WAIT This is definitely and ongoing theme in surrogacy. http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m109/FTBU/waiting.gif

Well we were supposed to review contracts yesterday but my IPs lawyer didn't have the agreement ready. We had to reschedule and will now be meeting on February 6th. I'll update more after that. Once all the legal aspects are taken care of we'll move on to cycling. VERY EXCITING!!!!

A friend I'd lost touch with that had stumbled upon my blog suggested I give a little background and explain why I choose to be a surrogate. I'm not sure I can even really put into words the passion I feel in my heart but I'll do my best to give a brief history.

For years I've thought it would be so very neat to be a surrogate but thought it was something women did for a friend or family member. I'd watched the Lifetime movies and TLC stories and was touched but I was content to wait to see if that moment ever came that someone I loved needed me.

Well the opportunity presented itself and I was very excited to think about the possibility. My brother began dating a woman who had a partial hysterectomy due to endometriosis and the conversation arose between my mom and brother about me being their gestational carrier "if" they ever chose to have children. I started doing some research despite the fact that neither my brother or his girlfriend ever spoke directly with me about it. Not long after this all came about we got pregnant with a child of our own and I didn't give much thought to it again. Our daughter was born, and as time passed my brothers request fizzled and seemed less and less likely to ever come to fruition.

About the time Isabelle was 6 months old I happened to stumble across an agency website and began to really ponder doing this for strangers. Jason, who wasn't very supportive of me doing it for my brother was strangely enough very supportive of pursuing the process with the help of an agency. We talked about it a few times and not long after that I was getting in touch with Zara at Family Source Consultants. Honestly I think at this point he was just happy I didn't want to have anymore of our own children. :rolleyes:/>

Well...that is in a nutshell what lead me to this point and I'll continue by describing why I ultimately decided to seriously pursue my dream.

My motivation comes out of passion and a heartfelt sincerity for those that can't have children of their own and some of it comes from my own personal desires.

Over my years as a member and host at parenthood.com, a popular parenting message board, I meet some wonderful woman struggling with infertility. I always felt so helpless, only able to offer prayers of comfort and words of hope. Being a surrogate is enabling me to be proactive and do what I can to ease the heartache of someone longing for a child. I am so passionate about that aspect of the journey and can't wait for the day that God willing, T&A are holding their new son or daughter. The emotional aspect of this journey is just amazing to think about.

From another perspective, I've loved the last 14 years of my life building a family and am a bit saddened to think that part is over but, at the same time have no desire to have more children. This opportunity is perfect for fulfilling that void left there. I have been fortunate to have easy and enjoyable pregnancies, even deliveries for that matter, and can't wait to go through it all again. I'd struggled for years with the thought of either Jason or I undergoing a sterilization procedure (permanent birth control) however, now knowing I get to continue this part of my life I am now 100% comfortable with it. We did just that almost two weeks ago, hubby had the "snip snip" and I can say for the first time I had no reservations knowing what the future holds.

Not only do I get to fulfill part of my yearning but financially this will make a huge impact on my family as well. When the compensation issue comes up some get a bad taste about it all but I try not to think of it that way, I know it can be touchy for some. When it all boils down the money is trivial to the big picture but it does certainly play a part in the experience. This will provide us the means for me to hopefully stay home with our girls for the next few years while putting away money for college and enjoying time as a family in ways we've never been able to before. I'll mention at this point that I'm already thinking about doing this again, perhaps multiple times which will ultimately help in acquiring those goals.

I could go on and on...there really is so much more on my heart that has prompted me to do this. I feel very honored to be a part of this. My IPs speak of how blessed they are to have me and how grateful they are but truthfully I feel equally blessed and am so excited to be doing this for them.

I can't wait to move to the next step, we've only got contracts left to do and then there is no stopping us.

This really is a dream come true for me, and I get to help someone else fulfill their life long dream too....it really is a beautiful relationship.

I had an appointment at the RE's office today...first off can I just say that driving into Chicago no longer fills me with anxiety...today was a breeze!!! Not ready to start driving cab downtown for extra income or anything but I can get to and from the RE's no problem. :ohyeah:/>

I was able to meet Dr. TurKaspa and he shared a bunch of cycling information (mostly details I already knew thanks to my AAS ladies), some IVF statistics and discussed the process in detail. I did ask him about the mock cycle and I was happy to learn, he doesn't find it necessary. He said if I wasn't responding to the medications as wanted we could freeze any embryos and change the protocol. That should speed things up considerably if we don't need to do a mock cycle. He also said he uses the progesterone suppositories vs. the injections...that was good news for me (or shall I say for my rear end....LOL). I've read about some having reactions to the suppositories though so I might need to do a bit of research. :theeye:/>

The hysteroscopy went great, uterus checked out good and everything is a go there. It was easy peasy, maybe a bit uncomfy, a little cramping and pressure but that is it. I'm on an antibiotic for the next three days to ward off any infection since they were probing around in there but it really was rather simple.

Dr. TurKaspa said to contact him after contracts are complete so we can work on med. schedules and set a transfer date.

Next step of course is meeting with our lawyers to do agreements/contracts. I talked with our lawyer today, Jason and I were to have an appt with her coming up on the 22nd but she is still awaiting an agreement from my IPs lawyer. Depending on when an agreement is drawn up we can proceed here, however she was doubtful that would be by the 22nd so our appointment will likely be rescheduled and pushed back a bit.

That's about all to report. Very excited to be moving forward and once contracts are done it really becomes "official". Can't wait to seal the deal and be on our way to making a baby (or two) for T&A!!! :onebaby:/>

Well, quick update. I had an appointment for my cervical cultures this past week and it went great. I'll tell ya, I've been through some drama with my OB office. It is a group practice and I had a run in with one doctor in particular that was not supportive of my surrogacy at all. I won't go into detail but I'll just tell you she had a very negative reaction when I told her of my plan. I was ready to leave the clinic because of her attitude regardless of the fact that I've been going to this practice for 8 years, and the one OB on staff, that I like very much, delivered 3 of my 4 children. I didn't want to chance having to be schedule with this woman again or God forbid have her be the attending doctor at a delivery!!

Well, I needed my cultures done soon and didn't have the time to research new doctors/clinics so I went back. I agreed to be seen by the nurse practitioner and she was wonderful!!! She was so compassionate and warm and the total opposite of what I experienced on my last visit. She personally guaranteed that if I chose to stay she would provide my care along with the OB that I like. She was so excited to be apart of this journey too and is 100% willing to be cooperative with the RE's office and will work with them during the process. I was very relieved and I'm so happy to know she will be holding my hand through this exciting process. She was so sweet and as I was leaving she asked to give me a hug and said some very kind words. We were both touched and near tears when I left.

Hysterosonogram is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm a bit bummed because my IM can't join me on this visit but I think it should be fairly easy so I'll be ok. I just plan to drive into the city (Chicago) and right back home so it shouldn't be to big of a deal.

I'll be sure to post an update after my appointment. Shouldn't be to much longer and we'll be getting our med schedules and transfer date!!!

This song came to mind today....thought I would share.

I like to listen to it now and then, reminds me why I am on this journey and what an amazing gift being a mother is and how excited I am to be doing what I am.

I can't wait to be a part of bringing this dream to life for my IPs.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

I just thought I would share a few of my thoughts. I wanted to get them down in case I later wanted to reflect on them.

On the online surrogacy community that I belong to, there has been a lot of discussing about IP involvement and relationships at the time of delivery and beyond. It has left me thinking long and hard about my expectations and with contracts coming up soon I want to be sure I can express my feelings before we officially embark on this journey.

These are my thoughts......

I've learned in the last few days that I will need my time for closure after the birth. It isn't that I need time to grieve, I am excited beyond words to give T&A the baby they so want and can't wait for that moment, but I will likely need some time to say goodbye alone. It is important that we establish that I will be given access to the baby(ies) while in the hospital and I will be allowed a little time with him/her/them by myself as well.

I know my profile left things pretty open when discussing later involvement. I requested updates but tried not to sound to "high maintenance". Ideally I would love as much contact as possible, I like the idea of being open especially considering we live less than 2 hours from one another. I think I requested frequent early communication (and my IPs stated the same) that will taper off to less often as the child/ren grow. I do however want to know that if I am thinking of them and want to send of an email, make a call or plan a visit that my request for contact will be accepted warmly.

I am hoping to let our relationship develop spontaneously and naturally. I believe and agree with what others have said that if you weren't likely to be friends prior to the surrogacy that it may be hard to maintain a real friendship however, through the moms group I belong to, I have become great friends with women I typically wouldn't have probably been inclined to seek as friends. Our bond though motherhood has connected us. I think with that in mind our relationship could and hopefully will blossom into a friendship beyond delivery and last for years to come. However, if that connection isn't there I don't want to force it either.

As I said, there has been a lot of talk regarding this subject and everyones insight is really helping me understand what it is I want. I am realizing that although I don't want to sound needy that I do need to be upfront with my expectations to avoid any disappointment later on. Thanks again AAS.