Posted 09 February 2006 - 10:24 PM
Posted 10 February 2006 - 03:23 PM
but I had an affair, and there's no way I'd ever go through that again.
I will not repeat that part of my past!!
And maybe some people would have an affair, but the opportunity never presented itself.. I"m sure that sounds bad..
I'm just saying I never thought I'd have an affair, I just wasn't "like that" and no one who KNOWS me could imagine I did that..
but it was all in the situation.. in what was going on with my husband and I .. and this guy that was doing all the right things or acting the way I wanted my husband to act...
I am NOT proud that I Had an affair, but if it hadn't been for that wake up and smell the coffee moment... hubby and I would have travelled down a worse road and we'd probably be apart..
in that case I wouldn't have my 2 year old daughter and we wouldn't have the better relationship we have. Plus I don't do stupid things anymore in general.
I hated lying about the affair, and when everything came out I remained honest about everything at all costs!! I know my husband changed for the better too...
Posted 10 February 2006 - 05:22 PM
Anyway, I understand where you are coming from in your explanation. I voted It Depends because the behaviors and motivating factors involved in infidelity can be extremely complex...you just never know. The "other woman" DH was involved with was-still is for that matter-a mean and spiteful creature out for her own amusement as a rememdy for her own miserable marriage (two young sons no less). Pathetic. However, I know another "other woman" that is totally opposite-my mother. She's too wonderful, smart, funny and downright amazing to not be, as Linda phrased it perfectly, "appreciated" and loved (my mom is a widow)...the wife has made her uninterest in her DH clear (they've been married for over 40 years), thus the attraction between he and my mother began. He adores her, treats her like a queen, tells her how smart, beautiful and funny she is and has for almost 8 years. The wife's attitude was/is the problem. *shoulder shrug* Her loss.
The difference between my and my mother's situations? I had not given up on my marriage, I wasn't neglecting it and I wasn't done yet.
But, as Ally McBeal's Fish aptly put it, "Bygones". The affair was my DH's wake-up call and we anticipate a long, stong and happy marriage as a result. :bliss:/>
Pepperbird, I appreciate and admire your ability to be candid about your history. My DH is and it just makes me love him all the more for his self-awareness and responsibility (previously nonexistent!). :)/>
Posted 10 February 2006 - 05:58 PM
My mom kept thinking the guy she was in love with would eventually leave his wife and kids..
which is mostly the case. But most of them don't.
Anyway, I think my mom deserved to be appreciated, but at the same time, so did my dad. So I'm glad he found someone.
And funny thing, she had a full blown affair on her husband before she met my dad... (my stepmom that is)
Posted 10 February 2006 - 06:13 PM
Weird side karma based note-rumor has it that my EX DH has only 1 month to live...some kind of cancer or something...so says one of our brides maids that still talks to him (not me) and why not still talk, he did f*#@ them all, yes all.
Posted 10 February 2006 - 07:24 PM
Posted 03 May 2006 - 05:42 PM
Now if the case were they were doing this now while we were friends ans such, i would not say that i would no longer be their friend, but it would be very hard for me to hear about it and support it in any kind of way.
We went through that with my DH brother and wife. He had affairs and we were always drawn into the middle. It hurt me seeing the kids being affected and him saying i'm sorry and her taking him back again and again. We finally just had to back off and not be "close' with them any longer. We just slowly withdrew our friendship. It was just causing us too much pain and emotions. We are now not close at all and they know that is the reason. But i wont lie and say i support someone when i do not. And more so when it continues to happen again and again.
We have been married going on 15 years and we have just learned how to choose our friends and what works and what dont. Alot of friends we have lost over the years for one reason or another. Not grown up enough, still parties too much, smokes WAY too much, just different things, but it does affect who we spend our time with. And its sad to say but....we are finding less and less friends because of the lifestyles of others.
I dont need perfect friends just decent ones with some values these days. But i would not throw a friendship away for a past offence.
Posted 08 June 2006 - 12:41 AM
At this point in my life I'm upset to find my friend not being supportive of my becoming a surrogate ... doesn't mean we're not friends because ethically she doesn't agree with my decision.
Posted 19 February 2007 - 12:57 PM
My Dh and I know a couple that are married -- but we also know the Ex-wife. So it is a "unique" time when we do visit them. They do make a great couple; completely devoted to each other and such a loving couple. We couldn't imagine them loving anyone else -- so to speak.
BUT for us we can impagine...
We also keep in touch with the Ex-wife... and that makes things even more "unique". She is wonderful - caring - generous person. While she has "dated" ... she hasn't found that person to be with.... kwim?
What makes it even more "soap operaish" the new wife and the old wife --- were good friends!!! Needless to say -- the new couple does not socialize with the Ex-wife.
Posted 21 August 2007 - 11:52 AM
I love it here !!!!!!
My hat is off to an amazing group of ladies !!!!!
Posted 21 August 2007 - 12:35 PM