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#1 Guest_guest_*

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Posted 24 October 2007 - 11:59 AM

To protect identity, I've decided to post here rather than where it probably should be placed!

I'm an experienced GS and currently talking to PIPs. It has finally come out that the IM is bipolar.. She has been on meds for 11yrs and says she has a mild case. Because of the meds she cannot get pg (birth defects). She did try to go off meds last year to attempt to get pg but it did not go well and her doctor recommended surrogacy (gs w/ed).. I have absolutely no experience with bipolar disorder & am trying to do my research before making a decision..

So my question is- Would YOU work with an IM that was bipolar? Why or why not?

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#2 Guest_just a guest_*

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Posted 29 October 2007 - 02:12 PM

If she is well controlled on meds then I would say it's worth talking about and see. Don't rush into it though. Bipolar goes through cycles so in order to see how stable she really is you'll have to take some time getting to know her. I would also make sure she has been to some counseling, worked out a plan, and has strong support for when parenting gets stressful. Bipolar scares alot of people because it's a mental illness but it is an illness nonetheless and she doesn't deserve to be discriminated against because of it. I posted here anonymously because I have bipolar disorder II rapid cycling and know firsthand how badly a person can be treated because of it. For me pregnancy evens me out so that I don't need meds and my moods are 100% stable. I have three children of my own and have been a surrogate once without any issues at all from the bipolar.

#3 Guest_Mommybug_*

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 12:56 PM

I absolutely, 100%, would NOT work with and IM OR IF that is bipolar. What if things get sticky and don't go properly? You can't guarantee that their reaction will be what you might expect.

#4 SweetPickles


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Posted 14 November 2007 - 08:30 PM

I don't think you can guarantee anyones reaction to something that might not go properly, bipolar or not.

#5 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:39 PM

Depression and bipolar disease runs in my family so I know first hand the stigma that goes with that label but it is a treatable illness. And contrary to popular misconception, bipolar people do not go "psycho" when life gets difficult or things don't go their way. While I would take the time to really get to know both the IF and IM and make sure she has medical clearance from a psychiatrist to do a surrogacy I see no reason not to work with her. Just make sure you have a contract in place before you move forward.

#6 nicolette



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Posted 16 November 2007 - 02:49 PM

i have a friend who is bipolar and as long as she is taking her meds she keeps well,she knows she will always have to take them.i presume shes taking lithium?or carbamazapine?i think i would certainly consider it if it were me

#7 TxGrL1679


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Posted 19 November 2007 - 03:00 PM

I have to say if the IM has controlled her bipolar issues for 11 years and has led a "normal life" and feels that she is capable of being a good parent with bipolar issues why shouldn't she be able too. I dont know a whole lot about being bipolar, but I do know alot about doing whatever you can to become a Mommy, and I wouldnt see a woman who desperatly wants to become a Mom go off her meds just for the heck of it, she knows what she needs to stay balanced and she does it.

We all do, we all have things we need to do to stay balanced, massages, chocolate, prozac! lol!

I say your on the right track, ask plenty of questions and ask the most important one IF she for whatever reason goes off her meds and is being irrational, will the other IP make decisions or work directly with you and limit your contact with her. You wont want or need the drama...I mean this seems a little far fetched to me, like I said being an IM myself I wanted to do anything and everything I could to make it all "okay" before my life changed with a new little baby, if I had been on meds that I knew I needed that would be the last thing I would have changed.

I wish you the best!! Good Luck!

#8 HeyThere



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Posted 21 November 2007 - 08:56 PM

I would.

#9 MeganS


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Posted 29 November 2007 - 09:43 PM

Some of the most intelligent, wonderful, normal people in the world have bipolar disorder. They are mothers and fathers too! There is so much misinformation out there about this illness and it irks me that people shut the door on anyone who has any form of mental illness due to ignorance.

The term "mental illness" is actually misleading. Bipolar is caused by a brain chemical imbalance. It is a PHYSICAL abnormality in the brain of which its symptoms can be emotional and behavioural. Like epilepsy - classified as a physical illness - it can easily and permanently be controlled with medication, and in the right circumstances, without medication provided one has a holistic and healthy lifestyle.

Women with bipolar disorder dread pregnancy because of the hormonal fluctuations that mess with their brain chemistry. It would be wonderful if GS and TS women would take special consideration for women who live with bipolar disorder.

The IM in this case may be more than willing to provide a clearance or some type of medical reference from her treating specialist. It would not be rue to ask, rather sensible. If the IM has a problem doing this then you should be concerned.

There are many levels of bipolar ranging from very mild and not requring any medication to super medicated and out of their trees! Do take care, but don't discriminate and ask for a doctor's report.


(I worked in mental health for many years)

#10 Guest_momioftwinz_*

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Posted 06 December 2007 - 03:00 PM

I happen to know a mother of 3 children who dealt with serious bipolar disorder after the birth of her 2nd child. She is one of the best mothers I have ever seen. She is well-educated, intelligent, and is an absolutely phenomenal mother. Having bipolar disorder does not make you a bad mother. Being the surrogate though, you have to be comfortable with it. It was a big step for her to tell you and I think that you should respect her decision to tell you and not use it against her. If you google bipolar and read about the 90% of success stories, you might feel differently. [font=Arial Black][color=#993399]

#11 Guest_maddes_*

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Posted 01 January 2008 - 09:02 PM

Well this is my thought I am married to a man that is bipolar and he is the father of my two sons. He is on meds and is well controled. he has not always been on the right meds so there were some problems. Now saying that during good times and bad he has always been a wonderful husband and the best father a person could ask for. If I were you i wouldn't even think twice on working with this couple.

#12 Momma2Twins


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Posted 01 January 2008 - 09:34 PM

There are so many levels of bipolar, if you're worried, ask for proof that she's been "stable" for x amount of time. Have you had psych testing? I'd think they'd know about it and be able to inform you.

#13 peaches



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Posted 04 February 2008 - 10:01 PM

Completely my personal opinion, no, I wouldn't work with them.

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