Feeling left out
Posted 22 April 2009 - 03:19 PM
I left the hospital Sunday and haven't heard from my IP's since. IF is supposed to be flying in tonight and the plan was that he'd call in a day or two and get together with us.
Well we'll see. It just sucks we had all this constant contact the few weeks before the birth. Then I got to spend a good amount of time with IM and babies while in the hospital. Also IF was checking on me while in the hospital. But then it's like now that I'm home, nothing.
I've let IM know that I've been pumping and that I'd love to bring some milk for the boys if she doesn't mind. No response. So I texted IF today to say happy 1 week and see how things were going. I mentioned the milk to him as well. No response.
I just feel like I've been forgotten.
I want to go see the babies, but don't feel like I'm even welcome to anymore.
I'll give it a few days and see if IF calls.. but I'm really feeling crappy.
Hopefully this weekend will be better.
Thanks for listening.....
Posted 22 April 2009 - 03:28 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 03:32 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 03:37 PM
I really hope all of this gets sorted out and that they include you fully! You deserve it
Posted 22 April 2009 - 05:49 PM
Anyway, it does take time and your IPs are very busy I'm sure trying to spend as much time as possible with the babies and such.
I would go up there and see if you can see them, maybe you will run into your IPs and can talk face to face.
Posted 22 April 2009 - 06:08 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 06:33 PM
I'm so very sorry you are feeling left out. While it's not an excuse, I hope that your IPs are just suffering from a bit of baby tunnel vision right now and they'll "remember" why their miracles are here soon.
Do you have an agency? If you do, I'd call them and have them intervene. A well worded call from your agency reminding your IPs that you need some contact can go miles.
One more !
Posted 22 April 2009 - 06:46 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 06:58 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 07:00 PM
I really hope you hear from your IPs very, very soon.
You know, postpartum issues and arrangements are hardly discussed here when we are setting up surrogacy relationships with our IPs... I wonder if that is something that needs more attention.
You are in my thoughts, sweetie. Lots of big hugs. It's been almost a year and there are definitely moments when I really miss my surrofamily.
Posted 22 April 2009 - 07:39 PM
The hormones are raging sweetie, soooooo much. When I had Martin it was the same way. I spent the first night in the same room with my IM, she even let me take care of him all night long while she slept.
I pumped for him as well. Once they left the hospital, I didn't hear from them except for four days later because it was Mother's DAy and we spent it together. I was so hormonal and felt exactly the way you do.
I felt abandoned now that my job was done, I cried a lot. Then I felt mad because I was pumping for them and didn't even hear from them. All you are feeling I felt so it's normal.
Remember they will always love you for giving them this wonderful gift of their babies. It's overwhelming at first for them, I talked to IM about these things. She was honest with me.
I love you and you did a wonderful wonderful thing for them. Be proud of what you did and that they wouldn't be here without you.
xoxoxoxoxoxo Love you sweetie pie
Posted 22 April 2009 - 07:53 PM
IF is coming to see the babies for the 1st time tonight.
So they aren't busy with the babies.
Also I just got so close to them towards the end. Being with IM in the hospital for 4 days made me feel like we'd always be close. I didn't expect to hear from them everyday, but thought by now I might have heard something.
I think our names "may" be on a list to go see the babies, but it may only be if one of the IP's are there as well.
This whole surrogacy was different than the last one, which overall I thought was better. (this one)
I know part of it is hormones and emotions. I really hope I hear from them in the next few days.
I expect things to slow down plenty once they have the babies home.
It just seems like with the babies here in my home state that they'd be more in contact with me.
I have thought about contacting the agency, but I think I'll give it a day or 2. I'll probably try calling IF tomorrow to see if he made it here ok.
Thanks everyone! You are all great and I knew this was a safe place where I could come and be honest and find someone who would understand.
Posted 22 April 2009 - 08:06 PM
I'll pray for some comfort for you and that they reach out and make contact with you.
Posted 22 April 2009 - 08:22 PM
Posted 22 April 2009 - 09:08 PM
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