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First son was natural now 2nd via surrogate, missing the "experience"


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#1 JMcNally

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 09:05 AM

Hi everyone!
I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but there are times I feel sad that I am missing the pregnancy things.
Anyone else out there go through this? Our little guy us starting to kick & part of me is sad that I will not experience that again.

Like I said at the end of the day I am forever grateful for this amazing blessing coming our way in April I just want to make sure that these feelings are "normal". Thanks you everyone, you have been so amazing throughout this journey.

Jessica

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#2 Charbearx3

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 09:22 AM

I think it's totally normal to feel the way you are. I've often wondered if it would be easier for an IM to have never been pregnant, or to have been pregnant once and then have someone else carry the child. I think it's a catch 22. Don't be so hard on yourself. What your feeling is totally normal I'm sure. I am sorry that your having these feelings because I can only imagine how hard it has to be. Sending you big {{{{ hugs }}}}

#3 jmedee77

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 11:04 AM

I am not in your position, so I dont have any suggestions (I am a surrogate). I just wanted to send you big hugs. I bet it is hard, but, I know it will be all smiles in April. Take care!

#4 BUZYMOM

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 11:22 AM

Jessica, I am a surrogate, but I wanted to say I think what you are going through is very normal. I am sorry you are unable to carry your 2nd child, but very thankful you found a great surrogate and are being blessed with a second child.

I know there is nothing anyone can do to make you feel better, but I think most women feel sad at times they will not feel a baby move inside them again, at some point in their lives.

Hugs!!

#5 toots

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 12:06 PM

I can totally relate to where you are coming from. I was never able to get pregnant and we had our baby in October. I totally missed the experience, but was so grateful for the descriptions of what the hiccups and kicks felt like. Your feelings, IMO, are completely natural and normal. I wish that I could have had at least one time to experience it, but in your situation it has to be hard because you have had the experience and know what is different this time. Big hugs!!! It is so hard being an IM, but in April none of this will matter :)

#6 JMcNally

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 12:48 PM

Thank you ladies!!!!!!!!!

#7 Brandiland

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 02:24 PM

I can totally relate to where you are coming from. I was never able to get pregnant and we had our baby in October. I totally missed the experience, but was so grateful for the descriptions of what the hiccups and kicks felt like. Your feelings, IMO, are completely natural and normal. I wish that I could have had at least one time to experience it, but in your situation it has to be hard because you have had the experience and know what is different this time. Big hugs!!! It is so hard being an IM, but in April none of this will matter :)



I think you put this well! Right now, experiencing everything seems really important, but once your babies are born, it won't matter that you didn't feel them kick because you'll have so many firsts and so many great things every day that you'll get to experience. It is hard now, and that's understandable, but soon you'll have that baby in your arms and everything will have been worth it!

#8 Shauna

 
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Posted 03 January 2012 - 10:47 PM

What your experiencing is normal! But when your son/daughter is born, it will erase those feelings of what you missed because you will be cherishing all those special moments once he/she is placed in your arms.

#9 emmalemma

 
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Posted 24 January 2012 - 12:53 PM

I think it's completely normal. I am not yet cycling but have had moments where I feel like that. I have given birth before, so there are times when I know I will feel like I'm missing out, I'm just hoping our GS will be understanding and keep me updated often so I can feel as involved as possible. I am also going to be inducing lactation so I don't miss out on the breastfeeding experience which was an amazing way for me to bond with my own :)

#10 xxMkxx

 
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Posted 24 February 2012 - 08:57 PM

We are on our 1st cycle and I have a bio child. She is 5 though so I do somewhat forget how pregnancy feels. I am worried I will miss itvor feel jealous of our surrogate for getting to feel it. We too will attempt to induce lactation.

#11 miraclemom2b

 
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Posted 14 July 2012 - 01:16 PM

We are in the same boat. We have one bio child and are in the beginning stages of wrking the details out for a TS journey with one of my sisters . I am concerned that we will be missing out on soo much..but in the end the baby is the end goal/prize and all else will be forgotten, just as the feelings of pregnancy often are as soon as baby arrives!




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