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First pregnancy surrogacy

#1 User is offline   The Deputy 

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 08:57 PM

Hi there,

I'm a TS for my best friend and his husband. This is my first pregnancy, which I know no one advises, but despite the warnings I'm going ahead and have no regrets thus far.

I'd really love to connect with some other women who have made the same choice. Anyone out there? Anyone even heard of one??

THANKS!

My blog
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#2 User is offline   traci72 

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 10:00 PM

Welcome and GL. You are correct in that it is NOT recommended to do a surrogacy if you have not given birth previously. I'm rather curious on your situation. How were the insems handled? How about contracts? etc.... While you are pretty deep already, please take the time to read here and so some serious research on your situation.
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#3 User is offline   The Deputy 

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:08 PM

Thanks for responding!

The insemination was done at home, with an oral syringe. We have no contract, and I am invited to move in with them and co-parent if that's what I want (but it absolutely isn't).

The IPs are very good friends of mine, and didn't ask me to do this - I volunteered knowing that their situation was pretty much hopeless otherwise. I could have absolutely waited until I'd already started a family to do this, but I didn't want to. I want to have kids of my own, but I'm not ready to yet. I'm 27, but I've never envisioned myself with children before my mid-thirties, which is already getting up there for fertility. Basically, I wanted to save my latest fertile years for myself.
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#4 User is offline   Amaraine 

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 08:44 AM

Welcome to AAS.

I personally know of one other TS that had babies for others before giving birth to her own son.

The fact that you don't have a contract is, frankly, scary. You are a grown woman and I'm not trying to belittle or bash you for your decision, but know that you have left yourself vulnerable. I know the IP's are friends of yours, and I hope everything will turn out just fine for all of you.

I wish you and your friends the best in your journey, and hope that this pregnancy will not compromise your future fertility.
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#5 User is offline   TiffanyM 

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 09:28 AM

Although there are many unconventional aspects to your journey you seem to be well educated and grounded - something we don't typically see around here when someone comes on asking about similar arrangements - TS, no previous children, no contract, etc. After reading through some of your blog I think although your situation is not ideal and not one I would advise pursuing, you seem to know the risks and the role you want to play. Best of luck with everything.
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#6 User is offline   The Deputy 

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 10:00 AM

Thank you all for your responses! I do understand that I have put myself in a very high-risk situation, and it's one that probably shouldn't be openly advocated for or advised.

I'm really interested in how this process differs from other forms of surrogacy. I have a vast number of surrogacy blogs to compare my experience to, which are mostly really helpful and interesting, but the only thing I have to oppose them to is my own experience (which is still in progress - as I guess it always will be). I would really love to connect with another woman who has made this ill-advised choice, so if anyone out there knows of one who might be interested, please send her my way!

My blog


PS -
@Amaraine - thanks for your your concern - there's no doubt that it's an unadvisable situation in many aspects. I did carefully considered the possibility of losing my fertility before starting this. I decided that I was in a good position to take this risk because I'm gay, so the thought of having biological children with my partner died long ago. Also, my relationships all involve two uteri :)/>
@TiffanyM - I really appreciate you checking out my blog - your response is extra helpful because of it.
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#7 User is offline   Mavis 

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 10:47 AM

I wanted to let you know that I think that you are doing an incredibly selfless thing. I mean all of us really are, but you took it a step above and beyond. More importantly, your blog is fantastic. I have it saved in my favorites but WISH you would add a FOLLOW button! It really makes me laugh and I like your very realistic/ sarcastic approach to everything. Keep it up.
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