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Son almost here, looking to hear from IP's

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#1 JMcNally



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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:50 AM

If all goes well our son will be here within the week! We are so happy and feel so blessed I just want the day to be here!
The anxiety level is through the roof! I am looking to hear for some IP's on how the bonding went after child was born. Having my first child naturally I missed feeling him and talking to him. Also when did you bring the baby to your surrogate? We have a great relationship but we need our time now & I am nervous about the whole meeting. She wants her young daughter to hold him, I am not sure how I feel about this.

Rambling on a bit, just hoping some IP's can fill me in on their experience once the baby was born.

Thank you

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#2 toots


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Posted 27 March 2012 - 09:35 AM

The last week is so hard because as you said the anticipation level is through the roof! He will be here before you know it. I am so excited for you guys. When our son was born I did skin to skin contact with him right away, so we were able to start bonding right away. After about 30 minutes DH did some skin to skin time also. I was afraid of the meeting also, but the second he was born I knew he was mine and no one could take him away from me. Once I had him in my arms all the anxiety I had felt the entire pregnancy went away. It was the biggest energy dump I have ever had. We had our own room so it was just the three of us the rest of the night. The next morning our GC and her family came to visit. We did let our GC's DD hold him. She had been part of the whole process and we did not have an issue with it, but if you do then just be honest. I am not sure what your carrier has told her daughter about the baby, but we were okay with it because our GC had been very clear from the beginning that this was our baby not theirs. We were very clear that we did not want visitors. We had a problem with our GC's friends coming to see and hold the baby before our own families, but we did allow her family to see and hold him. They also had been part of the whole process and really had become our family also.

Its almost here! You will know what is right for you, just go with your gut :) I cant wait to hear how it all goes!!!

#3 JMcNally



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Posted 27 March 2012 - 09:43 AM

Thank you for your feedback. I am just counting down and waiting. Skin to skin will be the first thing I do. We too have a room that I can spend the night in, which I am thankful for.

Can't wait tonshare the news. Thank you agin.

#4 traci72


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Posted 27 March 2012 - 04:26 PM

My IP's started bonding w/their DD's (both set's of IP's) right after their births. As far as "bringing him" to your surro, I would hope that you give her some closure BEFORE you leave the hospital. For many of us, it is a big part of "the end", being able to say that good-bye. I never bonded w/my surrobabe's the way I did w/my own children, but it was very important for me to have that time to see them and say goodbye. Also, please do NOT forget that her family...inlcuding her own children...have been a huge part in the surrogate journey just as much as your surro has been. W/out their support and sacrifice, she would not have been able to be the best surro that she could be for you and your DS. It is important for our children (almost as much as for us) to be able to see the baby, see baby w/it's parent's and be able to process it all. My kids were so much involved in most every aspect of my pg's, had either set of IP's refused to allow them to see or interact w/the baby before we all left the hospital, it would have made things much more difficult for them to accept. For all of my kids...even my older one's...I insisted that they MUST be seated in order to hold my surrobabe's, which while my IP's were wonderful about it all, made them more comfortable too. My girls each sat WITH my IP's and the held the baby together, which was super special to them. They were able to ask questions if they had them, say little tidbits to the baby and were all able to say goodbye. My boys' already "got" it, but it helped my girls more in understanding the "purpose" for surrogacy and to feel good about what they helped do.

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