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More than one surrogate??


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#1 Angla

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:11 PM

Hey everybody, I've matched with a couple with a bit of an unique plan. They want to ensure that they have children, so they've hired three surrogates, me and two other women. They plan to transfer two embryos to each of us. Apparently they are very financially stable and could take care of the possible multiples. Has anyone ever heard of this before? Thanks!

Angela

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#2 hollibraasch

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 06:52 PM

http://www.nytimes.c...?pagewanted=all

Here's an article about a couple who did just that. :)

#3 AmandaJ17

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:04 PM

WOW! 2 embryos to all THREE of you! Wowzers...so if they all take they will have 6! eeek.

#4 tm501

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 08:50 PM

As long as they can afford it, then why not??

#5 AmandaJ17

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:07 PM

Well, ok sure...if you say so ;)

#6 BabyOven

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 09:34 PM

That would make me incredibly nervous. I guess if you're comfortable with it and have an iron clad contract in place than go for it....
If they're using 3 surrogates I don't see the need to transfer more than one embie to each...
I personally wouldn't have wanted to "share" my IFs. We had a really special relationship that we all treasure so another surrogate would have affected that in a big way IMO...

#7 traci72

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 10:16 PM

That's out of my comfort zone, but I'm not the one entering into the agreement. I DO think it's better that they've been upfront and that you're aware of it. There have been situation's in which 1 surro does NOT know about the other and there can/have been issues. Transferring 2 to each of you I think is irresponsible, depending on the quality of the embies and I am surprised that the RE would agree to it, however, as mentioned, if they have the $$$ to accept every last responsibilty for all 3 of you, then more power to them.

#8 Brandiland

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 10:29 PM

I would think two would be enough, but three seems a little overkill. If you don't get pregnant the first time, is that it? Very interesting plan, though! I also agree with the two embryos each. I feel that would certainly result in at least two babies, if not more. But I guess the IM's and ED's age would determine embryo quality. Would be fun to see how this all turns out! Good luck to you!

#9 AmandaJ17

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 10:50 PM

IDK...it totally IS out of my comfort zone and IMO...6 babies, whether you HAVE the money or not is a bit crazy.. BUT...who am I to judge?!

#10 TiffanyM

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 11:00 PM

Not unheard of, I was approached to do this (dual surrogacy)however like the others, it's personally out of my comfort zone. Danielle also touched on a point that was one of my concerns ... I wouldn't have wanted to "share" the relationship I have with my IPs.

#11 LittleFella

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:43 AM

I just don't get it. How are the kids going to get enough one on one time with their parents? I don't care how much money is involve d, it would be rough to have 6 or more same age siblings, or maybe it would be awesome, who knows? I'm curious too if they will be finished after this try. Maybe they are poor quality eggs and they just don't want to have to wait for failed cycles. Two surrogates with one egg each I can wrap my head around but I wouldn't be a good match in this case.

It seems like a conquest issue almost. Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean this just gives Surrogacy a bad rep if you ask me. It's like just because we can... I do not know the circumstsnces so this is just my knee jerk reaction.

Edited by LittleFella, 28 April 2012 - 12:51 AM.


#12 juju

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:53 AM

IDK...it totally IS out of my comfort zone and IMO...6 babies, whether you HAVE the money or not is a bit crazy.. BUT...who am I to judge?!



I completely agree with you Amanda... I think they just want a baby so bad that their heads are clouded. Do they have any children now? Do they know how exhausting it is to raise even one child, let alone 6 (or more once you factor in the possibility of splitters)? I think this is completely irresponsible, but that is just me.

I do have a question for the OP though - Will you all try to cycle around the same time? I think it's possible, but not likely for you to transfer around the same time due to all kinds of delays that could happen to either one of you. The real question is if one of them gets pregnant before you do will you just be dropped? Will they keep trying until all three of you are pregnant?

I think I would be very uncomfortable with the possibility of going through the whole process... med eval, psych eval, contracts, cycling etc... and getting a call one day saying "Oh, we don't need you now, our other surro is pregnant." If that surro miscarries, will they call you back? Or will they just keep all of you until a baby is born?

The whole thing confuses me, and it just screams disaster to me, but I know it's not uncommon.

Oh well :dontknowsmilie:

#13 LittleFella

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 10:45 AM

http://www.bbc.co.uk...-china-16275624

I read this a while back. It is much more controversial because it is in China, about a woman who has eight children through two surrogates! I guess thinking of it this way from China's perspective it makes me glad it is legal to hire as many surrogates as a person wants.

Edited by LittleFella, 28 April 2012 - 10:48 AM.


#14 urban.joey

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 11:25 AM

My mom has 8 siblings and they are pretty tight. They also had good relationships with their parents so I think it can work. Sure they are not the same age but I am quite impressed with my mom's family when you have families out there with just one or two children who can't get along with each other or their parents!

I think as long as the surrogate is fine with being one of three, like anything else in a surrogacy agreement, it's all good.

As an IP, I personally would be overwhelmed with potentially six babies even with a "village" helping me. Triplets is one thing - not easy - but six? But again, to each his or her own.

#15 Angla

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 03:30 PM

Wow thanks everybody! I really really appreciate all of your thoughts. I had/have a lot of these same emotions. And you guys posed some good questions that I'm going to take to them right now and I'll fill you in. I know that the IPs want to transfer in August. I had thoughts about the whole "special" relationship thing too, but I ended up thinking it was selfish of me. They don't speak very good english so our relationship probably wouldn't be that close anyways. I'll find out a little more, thanks so much all of you are so great :)




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