Surrogacy Forum: Surrogate Mothers, Intended Parents and Egg Donors: Finding the positive in tragedy - Pregnant With Multiples - Surrogacy Forums

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Finding the positive in tragedy My surro journey so far...

#1 User is offline   Kreesa 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 12:10 AM

Wow! What a long road this has been! Things went so smoothly in the beginning and now we've hit turbulents.
I am 27 weeks pregnant with g/g twins for a single mother (1st time surro). Unfortunately and unexpectedly, the mother died when I was only about two months along. :cry:/> She had surgery on her foot, caught a simple bacterial skin infection that her doctor did not properly treat, and died a few days later. It was truly devastating, however, her family has been so supportive and uplifting through it all. Her younger sister will become the new mother of these little angels. My poor agency is scrambling to get the legal aspects of this situation ironed out.
In the mean time, with the exception of extreme nausea until 20 weeks, things in the pregnancy have gone well. On April 26th I went in for my monthly ultrasound. The babies looked so great! My cervical length did not. I had gone from 3.5 to .9. I was immediately admitted and discovered I had been having contractions. Next they started me on Procardia, an IV of mag sulfate and indocin. I am dialated to a loose 1 and 80% effaced. I felt terrible on the mag, but was only on it for a day thankfully. I'm also off of the indocin. I'm very happy to be unhooked from everything and allowed to shower and use the restroom!
So now we wait. I have uterine irritability and typically get one strong contraction an hour. Today I had some menstrual like cramps for an hour, but they subsided. I've been told I'll be here until I deliver which feels overwhelming since I have 9 and 5 year old boys at home, and a hubby I miss terribly. I can handle the boredom, it's the loneliness of missing my family that's been the hardest.
My goal is to hang on as long as possible so I can give this family healthy girls that will carry on their mother's legacy. So....anyone on hospital bed rest for possibly months? Anyone ever had an IP pass away? Tell me your stories or ask me any questions. I'm an open book!
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#2 User is offline   tm501 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 04:55 AM

OMG how horrible! I'm so sorry about your IM. Thankfully her family is stepping up knowing what her wishes were. And you poor thing being on bedrest with a hubby and little ones at home. I've never been placed on bedrest but I'm sure it gets boring. Do you have a kindle?
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#3 User is offline   tsmiami 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 06:19 AM

Oh, I am so sorry. I also have never been on Bedrest. That would drive me insane! I can barely sit through a movie at the movie theater without needing to get up and walk around. However, I know that I could do it for the babies.....the time will, eventually, be done.

I am so sorry for the loss of your IM. That has to be the worst fear of every surrogate. However, she is living on through you, or within you! Her family will have two little ones that will look like and remind them of her every single day. It's not the same, but sometimes a comfort.

I wish you the best. Rent a LOT of movies :)/>
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#4 User is offline   lilbelle 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 08:30 AM

Oh honey I'm so sorry. I know bedrest for a couple days is tough can't imagine. Is it possible for them to come visit you often? Hopefully that will help. We'll keep you and the babies in our prayers.
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#5 User is offline   DragonDad 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 08:45 AM

Hello Kreesa - I am so sorry to hear about the IM
I'm glad you are staying strong and optimistic. I'm very thankful that the family stepping up and they have halted the labor.

I'm an IF and I am (sadly) in the process of making funeral arrangements. Our GS went into labor at 23 weeks.
Perhaps your IM and our children will be together in Heaven.

Stay strong - keep your chin up
Keep us posted.
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#6 User is offline   TiffanyM 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 11:29 AM

Oh my how very tragic. This is the first time in my 5 years in the surro community ever hearing of an IP passing away, I am so very sorry. I'm relieved to hear that the lil ones have a loving home to go to.

I've never experienced bedrest. I can only imagine the loneliness being apart from loved ones for an extended time. I hope you are able keep those precious angels growing a bit longer.
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#7 User is offline   CaliSurroMom 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 11:50 AM

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! Hospital bedrest alone is enough to make the journey difficult, but what you've already been through, losing your IM, is awful. I'm glad it sounds like her family is stepping in, I hope you are all pulling together to get through this. Do your DH and kiddos come see you often? That would be the hardest part of bedrest for me, as well. I hope they can be with you as much as possible, and when they are not able to be there, I hope you have things to keep you busy! Kindle, movies, etc. We're all here- so feel free to post here and we'll carry on conversations and follow your journey as well! I'll keep you and those babies in my thoughts.
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#8 User is offline   AmandaJ17 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 12:04 PM

That is so sad! :(/> But I am glad you are able to work things out and the babies will be going with family that loves them. WOW.... and the bed rest! Yikes! I am so sorry! Hopefully you don't lose your mind! Maybe you could skype with your kids on a daily basis ... read to them or just tell them hi...
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#9 User is offline   ellemagnoliasmommy 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:47 PM

Wow I am so sorry about all that you are dealing with! Thinking of you!
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#10 User is offline   PhaedraS 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:55 PM

Wow. That is a whole lot of things to deal with! Can you at least Skype with your family if they can't make it to visit? Wishing you the best and hoping that cervix behaves!!
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#11 User is offline   JesseX2 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 09:27 PM

:(/> I'm so very sorry about all that you're going through. I've never been on hospital bed-rest, so I have no advice. Joining boards like this one is a good way to pass some time :)/>

Hang in there!! Will be thinking about you!
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#12 User is offline   traci72 

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 10:26 PM

I have no words other than to say how very sorry I am to hear of all you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine carrying for a single IP and he/she passing away. That has to be almost beyond difficult. My heart goes out to you and am sending so many prayers your way. All I can say is to focus on just 1 day at a time and please feel free to come here and let us support you as often as you need.
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#13 User is offline   wbwatts 

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 05:45 PM

i went through pretty much exactly what you went through. here is the link to my bed rest blog (total 88 days 55 spent in the hospital)http://lifehorizontalmyjourneyonbedrest.blogspot.com/ . i can answer all questions you have, and things to help w/your family while you stay - wbwatts @ gmail . com
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#14 User is offline   Kreesa 

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 06:21 PM

View Posttm501, on 05 May 2012 - 01:55 AM, said:

OMG how horrible! I'm so sorry about your IM. Thankfully her family is stepping up knowing what her wishes were. And you poor thing being on bedrest with a hubby and little ones at home. I've never been placed on bedrest but I'm sure it gets boring. Do you have a kindle?

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#15 User is offline   Kreesa 

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 06:25 PM

View Posttm501, on 05 May 2012 - 01:55 AM, said:

OMG how horrible! I'm so sorry about your IM. Thankfully her family is stepping up knowing what her wishes were. And you poor thing being on bedrest with a hubby and little ones at home. I've never been placed on bedrest but I'm sure it gets boring. Do you have a kindle?


The new IM surprised me with an iPad and told me to think of it as bribery to keep these little girls in as long as possible. :)/> It's been so nice to have! I've been able to Skype or do Facetime with my family on the days they.can't visit.
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