Do-It-Yourself Surrogacy: Things to Consider

Do-It-Yourself Surrogacy: Things to Consider

You’ve researched the surrogacy agencies and concluded that you could find a surrogate more quickly, and the surrogacy journey will be less expensive, if you do it yourself. Maybe you can ask your best friend to carry your baby for you; after all, you’ve always said that you would do anything for each other. And if your best friend lets you down, then your cousin is sure to jump at the opportunity if you offer her a little cash. And if you don’t have friends or cousins, you can advertise for a surrogate on craigslist, pay less than you would to a surrogacy agency, and do your own screening.

Easy as Pie?

But is it that easy? Is surrogacy really as simple as finding someone who agrees to carry your baby, then the surrogate, intended parents and baby live happily ever after? There may be a few exceptional cases like that, but it’s definitely not the norm. Surrogacy is a complex matter with many moving parts, and each part needs careful thought and planning. Can you really do it well without the support of an agency?

Finding the right surrogate for you is the foundation on which the success, or otherwise, of the surrogacy journey rests. As much as you love your friend or family member, or that lovely young woman you found on the internet, will they cope with the emotional roller coaster of being a surrogate, carrying your baby to term, and then handing the baby over to you?

Medical Considerations

What about your chosen surrogate’s medical suitability? Your clinic may refuse to do the procedure if she doesn’t meet the recommendations set by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, and you may experience more than one disappointment before you find a medically suitable surrogate.

DIY surrogacy is significantly more risky than using an agency. Any reputable agency will thoroughly screen potential surrogates for both medical and psychological suitability, and intended parents can feel confident that when they are matched with a surrogate, the match will be a good one.

Intended parents sometimes think that they don’t need an attorney if they go the DIY route, but this would be a mistake that could lead to heartbreak. Your relationship with your surrogate may break down; if you don’t have a watertight surrogacy agreement, your parental rights are not guaranteed, and in the end, it will cost you more money, and you could spend years in the courts.

The Benefits of Working with a Surrogacy Agency

A reputable agency’s surrogacy services should include organizing legal representation with reputable collaborative reproduction attorneys that will guide both intended parents and surrogates through the legal maze of surrogacy.

Support from professionals can make your surrogacy journey a joyful experience instead of a stressful one. If you go it alone, the right support for you and your surrogate may be hard to come by; reputable agencies will provide support for surrogates and intended parents throughout the surrogacy process.

Surrogacy is an expensive business, whether you go it alone or rely on an agency. It’s also one of the most meaningful journeys you will take in your lifetime, and it’s worth getting it right the first time. You can take the risky do-it-yourself route, or you can let an agency support you through the ups and downs of surrogacy from making a good match to the labor room and beyond.

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