The match meeting between a gestational surrogate and the intended parents is a vital step in the surrogacy process. It’s also one of the most nerve-wracking! Will they like you? Will you like them? What will you say to each other? No matter which side of the conversation you’re on—intended parent or gestational surrogate–you’ve probably got a lot of butterflies. Here are some tips on how you can stay calm and prepare yourself before the big day.
1. Write your questions down.
Brainstorm with your partner and/or a supportive friend or family member about everything you want to ask the other party. Re-review their profile; highlight anything you would like to elaborate on. This will ensure you don’t forget anything important and relieve you of the burden of trying to remember everything. Plus, the simple act of creating an organized list can go a long way toward helping you feel more prepared.
2. Confirm your plans.
You can’t control everything about the meeting. But you can do a quick double-check to make sure all goes well on your end. If you’ve scheduled an in-person meeting, have the directions and/or your GPS ready to go. If you’re having an online meeting, make sure the meeting app is installed and functional. And if you’re using a phone or laptop for the meeting, keep the charger nearby in case the battery runs low.
3. Relax and care for yourself.
Everyone relaxes in different ways. If you find family time is the best way to recharge, have a nice family dinner or watch a movie together the night before the meeting. If you need some time alone, pencil that in. Take a long walk, meditate, indulge in a hot bath or do anything else that makes you feel good. Do something to take care of yourself and center your mind beforehand.
4. Get some sleep.
This may be easier said than done! But there are ways to improve your chances of getting a good night’s rest. Go to bed at a reasonable time (or earlier, if you have an early morning meeting). Don’t drink caffeine or eat a lot right before bed. If you really can’t fall asleep, get up and do something calming, like reading a book, until you feel tired enough to sleep.
5. Reward yourself.
You’ve spent a long time prepping for and anticipating this meeting. Plan something enjoyable to do when it’s over. You can go shopping, buy or cook a favorite meal, visit someplace fun–anything that will help you relax and celebrate the completion of this important step. You deserve it!
Ask us anything! Reputable agencies should be able to guide you every step of the way on the surrogacy journey. If you have any questions or concerns about the meeting, don’t hesitate to contact your agency as they will be more than happy to put your mind at ease on any issue, large or small.
It’s natural to feel a little stressed the night before your first meeting with your potential gestational surrogate or intended parent/s. Channel that nervousness into useful, soothing activities that make you feel prepared and well-rested for the big day. And remember: the other party is probably just as nervous as you are! Great agencies will do everything we can to make this process easier for you, and we wish you the best of luck in your journey.