It’s Not the End of the Road With Infertility
Infertility isn’t fair.
You may have cried. You may have yelled, thrown things, or eaten buckets of ice cream in a single sitting. You may have sworn you’ll give up trying, only to start brainstorming baby names the following week.
You may be forcing yourself to smile and congratulate your friends every time another one announces a baby shower, while you’re secretly howling on the inside.
No, infertility isn’t fair at all. To be honest, it sucks. So many of experience it.
But it’s not the end of the road. We have some pretty fantastic options.
What is infertility?
Some people know exactly what infertility is (and are sick of hearing the word), but not everyone knows why they’ve wound up with it.
For the sake of specificity, infertility is “a condition of the reproductive system that prevents the conception of children.”
Infertility affects both men and women. A man might not be producing enough healthy sperm, or a woman not enough healthy eggs. Fallopian tubes could be blocked, embryos might not form properly, sperm may not swim well enough… all of these things (and more) can contribute to repeated failures to fall pregnant.
And, while it may seem that the whole world is breeding like rabbits around you, infertility is actually fairly common. The CDC states, “1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy.” Most couples aren’t ‘officially’ diagnosed until they’ve been trying to conceive for at least a year.
It’s not just couples who are affected. Whether single, straight, gay, bisexual, or transsexual, men and women from all walks of life may struggle to fall pregnant.
One of the cruelest things about infertility is that, in most cases, it’s generally neither preventable nor predictable.
The other thing about infertility is that nobody who hasn’t experienced themselves can understand how you feel. Your friends and family may try, but unless they too have faced the hollowness of wondering, “Why me?” month after month, they can only guess.
Some people describe infertility as being like waiting in line to be chosen for a sports team. You wait and wait, and you see other people ahead of you heading out to play, but your name is never called.
Nobody can magically change whatever circumstances have landed you in this place.
But enough of the doom and gloom. Infertility is not the end of the road. Here’s what you CAN do.
Find someone to talk to
Having a mentor or confidant is crucial. You need to be able to share what you’re feeling with someone who can offer an objective and reasonable point of view. This may not necessarily be your partner. It may be a friend, relative, counselor or even a colleague. Perhaps a support group.
Even if they don’t have all the right answers, they can just be there to listen to you and, in some cases, share their own story.
One should never carry burden of having to face the world of infertility alone.
Go to the right medical professionals
If you’ve been trying to conceive for more than a year without success – it’s time to see a professional. Don’t rely on the internet or the advice of random strangers in Facebook groups.
Do your research. Ask for recommendations. It might take some time – and a few different doctors or gynecologists – before you find one that you connect with. You need a professional who will talk to you about your options, and also who will understand how you feel.
Start considering alternatives
In an ideal world, we all want to have a baby “the natural way”. But sometimes, nature just isn’t there for us.
If you’re wanting your child to share the same biological make-up as yourself, a reputable surrogacy and egg donation agency could be the perfect solution for you as they should be comprised of third party reproduction experts who have a deep passion for assisting others with their family building endeavor through Surrogacy and/or Egg Donation.
Why more couples and individuals are choosing gestational surrogacy
If life has dealt you the wrong card for conceiving or carrying a child (for whatever reason), don’t lose hope. There are many ways that you CAN still have a family. One of them is through gestational surrogacy.
You can use donated sperm or eggs to create the pregnancy, depending on your situation.
A reputable agency will meet with you and discuss the process of becoming an intended parent(s). They will then match you with a gestational surrogate who share the same visions and goals, and walk you through the ins and outs (no pun intended) of creating a little miracle.
Yes, infertility is unfair – but it doesn’t have to stop you from becoming a mom or dad.